


Where's your boyfriend?

by Happy_Pappy_Patton



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst, Blood, Crying, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Panic, Lets pretend this isnt Janus because he's a baby, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Remy is a bitch but we love him, Some of this was written at 3am and it SHOWS, Swearing, The whole gang is here, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Written pre SvS redux, ex logince but theyre friends now and its cute, too many knives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Pappy_Patton/pseuds/Happy_Pappy_Patton
Summary: Roman Prince is just your average disaster of a gay barista making it by working at a coffee shop. However, his boring job becomes a lot more interesting when he develops a new obsession over two customers who come in together at the same time every week. When one day one of them comes in alone, acting very strange, everything Roman thinks he knows about the odd pair is thrown out the window and he is left a in a confused daze. As he finds himself falling for the mysterious emo half of the duo, he's thrown into a web of lies and manipulation that seems to stem from one not-so-healthy friendship. Can Roman find his way out of this Labyrinth and into the arms of his prince, or will he end up with a knife in his back?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 130
Kudos: 138





	1. Wednesday, Roman's POV

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was mostly written by Lauren, with some assistance from yours truly throughout. This is very cracked out, angsty at points, but mostly just gay. (could be gayer...)  
> Enjoy, and leave a comment!

Roman was counting the minutes until 4, watching the door with hawk-like intensity. He knew he shouldn’t be waiting for them, and he wasn’t even sure why he was waiting for them, but here he was, waiting nonetheless. They always came on Wednesdays; never at exactly 4 but never after; and Roman always made sure to be manning the counter by then.

Maybe it was the oddness of the pair that kept Roman so intrigued. The two were as different as night and day. One was loud and dismissive, tiny in stature but with the nature of a mountain. The other was practically the height of a mountain, though you could barely tell for how much he slouched, and Roman was sure he’d never heard his voice. He always wore an oversized black T-shirt and jeans, with bangs constantly falling into his eyes, whereas the short one was usually dressed in something more extravagant, typically a yellow leather jacket on top of a black v-neckband shirt, with dark, skin-tight leggings and a stunning velvet fedora adorned in a yellow ribbon which, despite being completely absurd, he managed to pull off flawlessly. Where the tall man applied clouds of black eyeshadow to emphasise his eye bags, the other rimmed his eyes in a magnificent swirl of gold and lavender that almost completely covered the thick scar cutting through his left eye.

But besides all of their differences, they worked together like a well-oiled machine. It was the same every Wednesday. They’d come in, the short one laughing and the tall one smiling in a way that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Roman assumed it was an act. After all, this was a very Christian part of town, and too much open gayness could get you all sorts of harassment. The short one would always order a green tea for himself and a black coffee under a different name every time while the tall one stood timidly behind him, staring at the floor almost in a trance. Then, the short one would saunter off and the tall one would quietly slip a dollar or two into the tip jar. They never stayed for long, maybe 10 minutes at most, but they never seemed to be in a hurry, either. They just… wandered around aimlessly, always together and never seeming to look back. It was beautiful, in its own way. They functioned like yin and yang, a perfect balance.

So when the bell on the door jingled and a tall, lanky man in a black T-shirt stepped into the near empty cafe unaccompanied, Roman would be lying through crooked teeth if he’d said he weren’t shocked.

He strode up to the counter quickly, eyes for once up and travelling wildly. When his gaze at last landed on the dumbstruck barista, his eyes softened, just slightly. Roman’s, however, widened, and he pressed his lips together to prevent his jaw from hanging open in awe like an idiot.

He’d never really paid attention to the man’s face. Looking at it now, Roman wasn’t quite sure how. The boy was undeniably cute, not in the normal way, but in the way that made you want to give him a hug. It wasn’t like his friend, who was obviously gorgeous with his dazzling smiles and killer jawbone; this was more subtle. Maybe it was the way his nose was slightly scrunched, maybe the way his eyeshadow pulled out his cheekbones, maybe the way the purple tinge of his bangs was reflected in his dark eyes. It was nothing that would make anyone stop and stare on the streets, but it was definitely something Roman could look at for hours on end, trying to uncover all of his secrets.

The man smiled awkwardly when he reached the counter in a way that made Roman’s heart melt for a moment. “Uhm, hey,” he mumbled with a voice like sand on a moonlit beach: rough, low, and absolutely stunning. The barista momentarily forgot how to speak.

“Uhhhhhhhh,” he stuttered, vaguely remembering his coffee shop training weekend and what he was supposed to say when customers came in. Desperately, he tried to say literally anything helpful, probably something along the lines of, “Hello! Welcome to Beanies! What can I get for you?”

But in his state of total and undeniable gay panic, what came out instead was, “Where’s your boyfriend?”

The boy gawked at him blankly for a solid minute as Roman resisted the urge to punch himself in the face. All you had to do was ask for his order, dumbass. What the hell was that?

Then, realisation dawned on the tall man’s face. “Ethan?” he asked, processing. “Oh, he’s not my boyfriend; we’re just good friends. Uh, he’s sick. Just me today. Sorry.”  
The barista was about ready to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. “No no no,” he squeaked, wondering who the hell allowed him to ever open his mouth in the first place. “It’s me who should be apologising. I’m sorry, I just assumed… aNyWaY what can I get for you?”

He was already halfway through typing “coffee, black” into the computer when the boy muttered, “Um, can I have a medium caramel mocha frappuccino, please?”

Roman stared at him like he had just asked him to commit murder. How the hell was this real. This was some bizzarro dream world where everything was upside down, wasn’t it?

A world where cute boys were single and frappuccino apparently meant coffee? No, that couldn’t be possible.

It wasn’t until the boy stammered, “Is… there a problem?” that Roman realised how idiotic he must look. He mentally slapped himself. _Get yourself together Roman, you’re acting like a stalker. Just ask for his name. And maybe his number. Is he even gay though? Shit shit shit._

“Uhhhhhh, no,” he muttered, nearly shaking as he punched the order in. “Nothing at all.

Can I, er, have a name for the order?”

The stranger bit his lip, giving Roman the strangest look. But it was gone in a moment, and with a small quirk of the lips he was smiling that beautifully crooked smile again.

“Virgil,” he replied. “Virgil Knight.”

In any other circumstance, the barista would most definitely have created a quirky nickname already to write in the cup. Unfortunately, his mind was preoccupied with singing the first 10 seconds of Freeze Your Brain on repeat. How the hell did this random guy manage to shut down 16 years of flirting experience with 3 words? He’d never been this tongue tied in his life. Well, not since…

“Uh, that’ll be $5.85, please,” Roman mumbled. He was sure his face flushed an unholy shade of red, and as Virgil turned to wait for his drink he felt his heart stop. He leaned against the counter for support, blowing his hair out of his eyes. This was going to be a long shift...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank Lauren for fixing the formatting on this, it looks so much better! Sorry it’s slightly late, we had some technical difficulties. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. 10 minutes later, Virgil's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our poor anxious baby :(

Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he was in this place when it was quiet. He and Ethan always left right after they got their drinks; Ethan always said he hated being in there, but Virgil had always found the place relaxing. He had never gotten a chance to really examine it before this, with Ethan constantly talking and shifting his attention, but the more Virgil looked around, the more things he found that he loved.

The barista was on the top of that list. God fucking damn. Who allowed this man to work in a coffee shop when he looked so hot in a baby blue apron? It had to be against some law somewhere.

This whole problem would have been much easier to avoid if said fine ass barista weren’t at the counter every goddamn time they went in there. It was so aggravating. Every other Wednesday, he’d kept himself from even looking at this Greecian sculpture come to life, because then he’d start blushing, and Ethan would notice, and he’d cause a scene, and everything would fall apart again. But today, there was nothing stopping him.

Well, nothing except crippling anxiety and the knowledge that all hot boys were either straight, taken, or both. So actually, there was plenty stopping him.

Not wanting to look awkward, he whipped out a book from his bag and stared at it, pretending to read and totally not discreetly checking the barista out for the hundredth time.

They both fell into a familiar silence that was neither silent nor familiar. It wasn’t silent in the fact that the clattering of cafe equipment kept any true moments of soundlessness at bay, nor was it familiar as Virgil had never truly done this before, yet somehow the emo felt this was exactly what he’d been made to do, like all of his life had lead up to this moment. It felt so… natural.

“No way,” a voice whispered incredulously, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Snapping the book shut, his eyes flitted up to meet the hem of an apron, a name tag, and a jaw that could cut steel. Holy shit, forget a snacc, this guy was a fucking main course.

“What?” Virgil asked, hoping the nervousness he felt hadn’t crept into his voice.

“You’re reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson?” he asked, tone unreadable. Oh shit. He wasn’t crushing on a homophobe, was he?

“Uh, yeah? Why?”

The barista’s eyes widened. “That. Is my fucking favourite book ever.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows, attempting to look cool despite the urging of his heart to jump out of a window. “No shit. Mine too.”

“Really? Who’s your favourite character?”

“As much as I love Jane, I think I have to say Gay Will Grayson. Truly iconic.”

“Fair enough, but also consider: Tiny Cooper.”

Virgil chuckled. “The gayest man alive? Odd choice.”

“Um, last time I checked, I was the gayest man alive.”

The emo feigned a gasp of horror, but on the inside he was losing his mind. “Is that a challenge, good sir?” He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, but a combination of his racing heart and the rush of adrenaline in his veins had made him forget how to be anxious.

The barista tsked disappointedly. “My deepest apologies, fair maiden, but I do not challenge those more attractive than me. Perhaps we could come to some sort of negotiation? Preferably one where I walk away unharmed and with your number in hand?”

Virgil felt his face grow hot. “I’m sure that could be arranged, he stammered. “But first, I must know the name of my Prince Charming. Tell me, who is this dashing young saviour? Charming indeed.” Was this really happening? Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. The ONE time he had come in without Ethan, and it had only taken him ten minutes to start flirting with this man? Why the fuck hadn’t he done this sooner? The hottest man he had ever seen was currently asking him for his number, and he wasn’t ready to curl up into a ball and die.

“Why, they call me Roman around here. Roman Prince. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” The man smirked, leaning a little farther across the counter.

The emo gawked. “Prince? You’re actually-”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Right then, his phone rang. The custom ringtone that Ethan had programmed into his phone. The one that filled every bone in his body with dread. He felt his stomach churn. Not now. Not now. Not now… He silenced Roman with a finger and reluctantly accepted the call.

“Hey!” he chirped with an enthusiasm that in no way matched his somber expression. “What’s up?”

The syrupy voice of his best friend drawled back at him. “Hey, honey. Where are you?”

Shit. Ethan would definitely be upset if he knew Virgil had gone to the coffee shop without him. After all, it was their thing. He wasn’t sure why he’d told Ethan he couldn’t go today. Maybe he just wanted this peace. Maybe he wanted the chance to see the barista without the fear of hurting Ethan more. Either way, he was really starting to regret it. No matter how happy he was to have gotten as far as he did with Roman, he felt horrible leaving his friend behind.

Still, he couldn’t get caught in this lie. “At the grocery store. Why?”

Roman gave him a questioning look. “Is everything ok?” he whispered innocently.

Virgil nodded unconvincingly and tried discreetly to cover the microphone, but it was too late.

There was a short pause. “Who’s with you?” he growled.

After all of the times this had happened, Virgil would’ve hoped he’d know how to deal with it by now. No such luck.

“No one,” he muttered. Too quickly.

Ethan sighed. “After all this time, you still think you can lie to me? The truth, hon. Now.”

The emo sucked in a breath. “Honestly, E, it’s just some random guy.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, a twinge of hurt in his eye. Virgil was going to break.

The voice over the phone chuckled humorlessly. “Just… some guy, huh?” he mused. “A random guy. Well… is he cute?”

Virgil blushed. “Stop.”

“No, I’m serious! Is he the man of your dreams? Is he the perfect person for you? Does he complete you in a way I never could?”

“Seriously, stop it.”

“Because if I’ve failed you, you don’t have to hide it from me. Just say the words, and I’ll never bother you again. It’s fine; I’m sorry I wasn’t enough. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible.”

Virgil’s throat tightened. Checkmate.

“E, don’t say that,” he whimpered, voice breaking. “You know I can’t live without you.”

And though he knew it wasn’t true, what was he supposed to do? Tell Ethan that yes, he was expendable, even if that was nowhere near the point? No, it was too cruel to tell him the truth. He couldn’t do that to a friend.

“I don’t even know why you stick around me anymore. I’m worthless. I can’t do anything for you. I might as well just disappear. Maybe the world would be better off without me. Goodbye, Virgil.”

“Ethan-no!”

Silence.

“Ethan?”

The line was dead.

Virgil cursed under his breath. He wished this would stop happening. “I gotta go,” he said in Roman’s general direction. He sighed, hauling his bag onto his back. “Thank you, for everything.” Virgil meant it. Just being with Roman for that short amount of time had made him happier than he had been in forever, and it crushed him that he was going to have to let that all go to take care of his “best friend” who probably didn’t need help anyway.

Roman held up a hand. “Wait. Could you please tell me what’s happening? Are you okay?”

The genuine concern in his eyes made Virgil’s heart twist painfully, and he found it hard to speak. God, this man was so perfect.

Virgil nearly laughed. _No, thanks for asking. I am the exact opposite of okay right now. My friend could die at any moment and it’ll be all my fault all because I had a crush on some guy who’s way out of my league, and now I might lose both of you in a span of three minutes._

“Yeah, fine. I just have some personal issues I have to deal with. It was great talking with you.” And with that final lie, he turned to leave.

He’d barely made it five steps out the door before he felt a hand grab his wrist tightly.

“Virgil, wait,” Roman panted, holding a sharpie triumphantly up in the air. Twisting the tall man’s arm slightly, he uncapped the pen with his teeth and started scribbling furiously on Virgil’s wrist. “I don’t know what’s going on, but from what I’ve seen so far, you’re amazing, and I don’t want you or your friend to be hurt. So, in case you need anything,” he said as sweetly as he could through the cap in his mouth.

On the emo’s wrist, in surprisingly good penmanship, was a long string of numbers. Roman’s phone. He swallowed, trying to relax his racing heart.

Virgil glanced at the man, trying to discern any motives to this sudden kindness, but all he saw were two honest eyes staring back at him with nothing but hope. He nodded, looking Roman in the eyes. “Thank you.”

Without another word, he ran out to his car and drove off into the fading light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, leave a comment!!


	3. 1 week later, Roman's POV

Roman spent the entire weekend pretending he wasn’t just sitting waiting for Virgil to call. After all, it had only been a few days since he’d formally met the boy, and he’d left in quite a hurry. He wasn’t obligated to call, or even to think of the awkward barista who’d given him a laugh one random night. It wasn’t like they were actually friends or anything. Really, he shouldn’t be obsessing over this.   
But honestly, who was he kidding; he was Roman. His heart was a useless pump that supplied him both with blood and an endless cycle of pining and rejection. And so there he was on a Monday morning, half asleep behind the cafe counter after a sleepless night of daydreaming. He couldn’t stop thinking of the tall emo. His knight in shining armor. His mysterious eyes, his deep laugh, his witty humor...  
He was so tired that he didn’t notice the giant man in front of him until a familiar chuckle smashed through his stupor.   
“I was gonna order some coffee, but it looks like you need it more than me, Princey,” Virgil laughed.   
Roman’s head snapped up, and he stared blankly at the tall man. Holy shit, I summoned him, he thought through a thick layer of sleep deprivation. And he’s alone again. This has to be a dream.   
“It’s not Wednesday,” he blurted before immediately kicking himself mentally. Two for two on idiotic greetings, that’s gotta be a new record.   
Virgil simpered and leaned on the counter. “Am I not allowed to get coffee on a Monday morning?”  
“Are you going to get coffee?”  
The emo’s carefree smile faltered for a second. “Fair enough, I suppose. I can’t stand straight coffee. But perhaps some Prince Charming could save me from this terrible plight with a-”  
“Medium caramel mocha frappuccino, extra whip. Got it. $5.85?” Roman sped through the order like it was second nature, not like he’d been trying to decipher hidden meanings in the choice all week. God, I really am obsessed, aren’t I?   
Virgil’s brow furrowed. “Since when did I want extra whip?”  
“Since you spent 5 minutes trying to suck out every last drop of it last time.” Roman smirked, far too pleased with himself as the other’s face flushed.   
A cough echoed from behind the barista, making him jump and the emo snicker. “Ro, get on with it. The line’s not getting any shorter, you know.”  
Roman groaned. “Butt out, Remy. I’m going.”  
“I’m serious, babe. Boss ain’t gonna be too happy if-” he stopped suddenly, and Roman glanced back to see the caffeine addict eying Virgil hungrily. “Oh, nevermind. I see now. Hmm,” he whispered, voice dropping and getting silkier. “And who is this tall, overpriced drink of tea here? And more importantly, has anyone already bought him?”  
The tall boy’s eyes widened, and Roman had to stop himself from slapping his best friend. “Remy, you have a boyfriend!”  
“Meh, we broke up like a week ago. Didn’t I tell you? He was too…” he rolled his eyes, “decaf. But you?” He turned back to Virgil. “You look sweet enough to give me a month-long sugar rush. So tell me, gorgeous; anyone been smart enough to drink you up yet? If not, we can definitely fix that.”  
This is it, Roman thought. This is where my life ends. It’s been fun, but there’s no way I’m getting out of this without dying of embarrassment. Tell my mother I love her, God, and tell my father to fuck off for me. And tell my brother to stop drinking shampoo so he doesn’t kill himself too.   
“Sorry hon,” the emo drawled, shocking the barista out of his prayers, “but you don’t want this mess.”  
Remy laughed. “Try me, hot stuff.”  
“I’d rather not; you’re not my type. I have a friend who’s more up your alley, though. Much sweeter than me.”  
Narrowing his eyes, Roman’s bitchass friend leaned closer to Virgil. “One being Roman, ten being you?”  
Roman squealed in protest, but the tall boy didn’t hesitate. “33.”  
Remy’s eyes widened as he turned back to his exasperated friend, gawking. “That’s almost as hot as me.” He turned back to Virgil, no doubt ready to ask for the number, but the 10 was already thrusting a napkin at him.   
“His name’s Emile,” he sighed dismissively. “You can thank me later. Now, would you be a dear and go make my drink? Like you said, there’s a line.”  
“Anything for you, sweetheart,” Remy replied, still staring at the napkin with a dazed wonder. The other barista watched him go with a stunned expression before turning back to the surprisingly good flirt in front of him.   
Virgil was beaming like the sun, a wicked glint in his eyes, and the prince nearly forgot how to breathe. This was the man he’d missed all those times he’d come in with his friend. The air of confidence, that perfect smile that, for once, seemed completely and unconditionally happy, and most of all, the pure light that practically radiated from him when Ethan wasn’t around. No diamond in the world was precious enough to buy the rush of euphoria that energy gave him.   
Mentally slapping himself out of his stupor, Roman stammered, “Sorry about Remy, he can be a bit… forward. But I have to admit, that’s the fastest he’s ever left. Good job.” He shook his head tiredly.   
Virgil grinned. “Like I said, he’s not my type. Besides, anyone who considers you a one needs mental help.”   
Roman fought his blush to the very last second before finally giving up and letting it warm his cheeks. “Yeah? Well, if you’re a 10, I’d probably melt instantly at the sight of your friend.”  
“Then we’d better keep you away from that insane puffball. Can’t have all that charm go to waste.”  
“Oh, Charming, am I?” Thank god, he’d somehow managed to retain an ounce of his usual flirtatious nature. There were so many things about the emo that threw him off his game, from his smiles to his quips to the way his hair glowed in the sunlight filtering in from the window. It was so aggravating that he’d be so helpless with something he’d always found to be effortless. Yet he couldn’t complain. After all, he’d always loved a mystery.   
“But of course, your royal highness. What else could describe the great Roman Prince?”  
“Well, princely, for starters.”  
The customer shook his head, giggling. “I still can’t believe your name is Prince. Never has a name been so perfectly fitting.”  
Roman chuckled awkwardly, figuring that must’ve been what he’d been about to say that night, before…  
“About Wednesday,” he muttered, watching as the emo’s smile dropped. He knew he should’ve probably waited, but the thought had been tugging at him for so long that he finally couldn’t resist.  
“Remy?” Virgil called. “Can you manage the line? I need to steal your coworker for a moment.”  
“Hm?” the bitch hummed back. “Sure, just bring him back quickly. And keep it Christian, kids. Leave room for Jesus.”  
Rolling his eyes, Roman rushed out to meet the emo in the corner of the cafe.   
“Alright,” Virgil sighed, staring at the barista sympathetically. “I’m so sorry for leaving so quickly last week. I can’t do much to make up for it, but I’ll answer your questions; I can see them in your eyes.”  
Roman had had questions the moment the beautiful stranger’s expression had turned dire. It frightened him, how quickly he’d gone from laughter to guilt when talking to his friend. But Virgil looked so ashamed right now, and it broke the romantic’s fragile heart.  
Something was up here, and he was going to figure out. The brave, beautiful man in front of him didn’t deserve this at all.  
Roman decided to start simple. He didn’t want to scare him. “Is your friend ok?”  
The tall man almost seemed taken aback by the question. “Yeah. Yeah, Ethan’s fine. He just got into a little trouble, and I had to help him out of it.” He grimaced. “No big deal.”  
It didn’t seem like no big deal, not in the slightest, but he wouldn’t get anything out of pushing down this route except maybe making his friend uncomfortable. Instead, he switched tactics. “What were you arguing about over the phone?”  
Shifting uncomfortably, he sighed. “He can get a little sensitive at times; he took something the wrong way and things got a little out of hand.”   
So vague. And this wasn’t the first time, either. He was hiding something, something big.   
“What was he sick with?”  
“...What?”  
The barista kept his face stoic, but on the inside he was dying. He was sure something was horribly wrong, but he couldn’t help if the man in front of him didn’t trust him. “You said he was sick that day. What did he have?”  
Virgil seemed at a loss for words, confirming his suspicions. Taking a small step closer, Roman murmured, “Look, I know I just met you. You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to tell me everything. But you don’t have to lie to me. I’m not going to judge you.”  
For a beat, they both were silent. The emo hung his head, but not before he got a glance of his genuine look of remorse. “Sorry, I just… I didn’t want him finding out. It’s a tradition to come here together, but I didn’t feel like going with him that day. I told him I couldn’t make it, and he decided not to go either. I thought it would be easier to just say he was sick than to explain.”   
It made sense, he supposed. A bit odd, but he shouldn’t judge with things he knew nothing about. “So you told him you were at the store.”  
“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.” He sighed, leaning against the wall. “I know too well how it feels to be discluded. No one should have to feel that way.”  
The way he said it made the prince’s heart twinge, but he shoved it down. He was so close to understanding.  
Roman swallowed. “And me? Why were you so keen on keeping me out of it?”  
Virgil looked at him, clearly debating on what to say. “Ethan’s always… had a bit of a crush on me, I guess. He gets a bit jealous when I’m around other guys, especially,” he looked Roman up and down, “guys like you. He gets really irrational about that kind of thing sometimes. With the mood he was in, I’m pretty sure he’d’ve ripped you to shreds.” He chuckles, but there’s no humour to it. “I didn’t want him getting the wrong idea.”  
The barista listened intently, growing angrier by the minute. “That’s bullshit!” He exclaimed after the emo had finished. “You can’t just throw away interactions with men for all time just to spare someone’s feelings! Can’t you tell him you’re not interested?” Roman didn’t know why he was so passionate about this. He barely knew the anxious man before him, but for some reason, every bone in his body and every inch of his mind was screaming at him to help the other. Roman needed Virgil to be happy. He needed Virgil to be here. He needed Virgil.  
“I have; it never really seems to stick. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t control every waking moment of my life, and a few avoided conversations is more than a fair price to pay to save a friend from his own insecurities. Seriously, it’s not important. Next?”  
Roman took a deep breath, but it couldn’t hide the hurt in his tone when he asked, “Why didn’t you text me?”  
Virgil inhaled sharply. “Ro, I’m so sorry. It washed off after I helped Ethan; and I never got a chance to write your number down. I was so upset, I promise, I would’ve. I wanted to. I’m sorry, I know this is all so weird, but I’d like to try again. I really want to get to know you, and I don’t know if you feel the same way, because I totally get if you don’t but... Here.” He cut himself off and handed the barista a card from his pocket. “This is my number, if you care. Call me if you feel like giving me another shot, ok? I know it’s a lot, but consider it.” He didn’t wait for an answer, glancing up at the clock on his phone and cursing. “My first class starts in 15 minutes, I should go. I’m so sorry, again.” And before Roman could object, the tall man leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. His eyes closed instinctively, wanting the moment to last, but all too soon the warmth on his cheeks had faded, as had the warmth of the man. His heart was going faster than he thought possible, and he felt light headed. Virgil had just kissed him-  
This was a mess in every sense of the word. How could Virgil not see how bad Ethan was for him?! Roman wasn’t blind; he saw Virgil crying the minute after he called. The way it made his stomach sink low and his world crash around him wasn’t easy to forget. It was more than enough for the prince to realize Ethan’s feelings for the emo may be more than a crush. He could see how protective that little snake got whenever they were together, and how he always stood in front and did the talking to keep Virgil away from everyone else. He used to think it was just a matter of the emo being shy, but now he knew. He was willing to bet that it was no accident Roman’s number had been lost, or that Virgil had broken his routine to be here on a day Ethan wouldn’t. Virgil wasn’t blind either; why did he care about that dick?  
The answer hit him like a knife. Because that’s who Virgil is. He makes sure no one is treated wrong, no matter how much they deserve it. He’s just so damn sweet that he can’t say no, and he’s willing to sacrifice his own happiness to satisfy a man he doesn’t even care about. The young barista shivered when he thought of all the shit Virgil must have been through to make himself forgive a monster as big as Ethan.   
“Oy, Ro!” Remy shouted from behind a stack of drinks. “Stop fantasizing about your future adopted children and help a bitch out, would you?”  
Roman sighed and slipped back behind the counter. He was definitely texting Virgil tonight. He wasn’t sure how this mess had begun, but he was sure as hell going to help try and fix it before someone got hurt again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment <33


	4. Monday night, Virgil’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil talks with his friends and someone who might end up being a little bit more :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw toxic friendship, swearing  
> here have some fluff because I'm feeling nice  
> -the friend

Virgil wasn’t waiting for Roman to text him. Not at all. Nope. He just didn’t have anything better to do than stare at his blank phone screen for a while. Yeah, that was it.

It wasn’t long before the anxiety set in. _He’s not going to text you, dumbass. You blew it and now you’re never going to go back to that cafe because you left twice before even really getting to know him. Haha dumbass, congrats on screwing yourself over twice._

His phone chimed, and he nearly fell off his bed. He scrambled to open his phone, holding his breath.

**Padre:** hey kiddo :)  
 **Padre:** u doing ok?  
 **Padre:** i feel lyk we haven’t talked in 4ever

Virgil sighed, mad at himself for being disappointed. He loved Patton, and talking to his bubbly friend always made him feel better.

_Emo Nightmare is typing…_

**Emo Nightmare:** hey there puffball  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ye I’m fine just been a bit busy  
 **Emo Nightmare:** how was your day?  
 **Padre:** amazingggg!  
 **Padre:** i went to the library to go get book things or whatever  
 **Padre:** and this really cute guy helped me!  
 **Padre:** lyk i no i say this alot  
 **Padre:** but i might be in love <3  
 **Emo Nightmare:** lolol  
 **Emo Nightmare:** does this library guy have a name  
 **Padre:** yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
 **Padre:** it’s Logan  
 **Padre:** isn’t that like the most beautiful name you’ve ever heard in your life???

Virgil laughed. Pat was so adorable sometimes, it was almost always enough to cheer him up. Nearly enough to get his mind off of a certain barista.

**Emo Nightmare:** whatever u say padre  
 **Padre:** ooooooooooooooooo guess what  
 **Emo Nightmare:** should I be scared?  
 **Padre:** I heard Em has a boyfriend now!

Smiling, the emo ran his fingers through his hair. Emile had texted him earlier, first scolding him for giving out his number to random strangers, then thanking him for finding the perfect guy for him. Apparently, those two wasted no time with dancing around each other. _Wonder how that feels._

**Emo Nightmare:** really?  
 **Padre:** ye they met this afternoon  
 **Padre:** I’m so happy for themmmmm  
 **Emo Nightmare** : ye me too

And then his phone dinged, and all thoughts of his friends were gone.

**Message from Unknown Number:** well hello there my sleepless beauty  
 **Message from Unknown Number:** ya get it cuz the eyeshadow

Virgil’s heart leaped up into his throat. This man was unbelievable. He didn’t even have to text, let alone be so chill about it. And yet here they were.

Trying desperately to calm the racing of his heart, the tall man shot a quick text to Patton.

**Emo Nightmare:** brb  
 **Padre:** kk luv ya kiddoo  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ly2 pat

Then, he switched over to the two unread messages and added a contact to the barista. He deliberated for far too long on what to say, typing and deleting and typing and deleting. Finally, he settled on a neutral:

**Emo Nightmare:** hey  
 **Prince Charming:** is that all I get? Cmon hon show some enthusiasm  
 **Emo Nightmare:** oh my lord here comes the amazing Prince Roman I am not worthy

_Prince Charming is typing…_

**Prince Charming:** wow I don’t think I’ve ever actually been able to hear so much sarcasm in a text  
 **Prince Charming:** congrats my friend you have gone where no one has before

Virgil snorted. This wasn’t fair. He was not allowed to be even more dreamy through text. The gayness gods had chosen him to suffer.

**Emo Nightmare:** hold your applause  
 **Emo Nightmare:** besides I can’t possibly compete with your overwhelming sense of grandeur. truly inspiring elphaba is quaking  
 **Prince Charming:** oh a wicked fan too? Am I in heaven?

The emo blushed. Of course this guy was a theatre fan. His entire aura screamed _I sing showtunes on public busses._

**Emo Nightmare:** ye my friends dragged me to a showing of it once like 5 years ago and it was actually pretty good for a musical… like disney but darker or whatever  
 **Prince Charming:** haha ig it is  
 **Prince Charming:** wait where did u see it  
 **Emo Nightmare** : uh  
 **Emo Nightmare:** mind palace high  
 **Emo Nightmare:** my friends brothers gf or whatever was glinda  
 **Emo Nightmare:** why  
 **Prince Charming:** omg  
 **Prince Charming:** i was fiyero in that!

Virgil’s jaw dropped. The world truly was out to get him. The only thing he could clearly remember was that he was obsessed with Fiyero’s voice.

**Emo Nightmare:** no shit  
 **Prince Charming:** shit  
 **Emo Nightmare:** small world huh  
 **Prince Charming:** or maybe the universe decided we were fated to meet

The text felt like a punch to Virgil’s gut. This man could not be serious. It was like he was actively trying to make the emo blush.

It was working.

**Emo Nightmare:** or maybe we live in a small town, Princey  
 **Emo Nightmare:** the universe doesn’t care about 2 useless gays  
 **Prince Charming:** agree to disagree  
 **Prince Charming:** but while we’re disagreeing  
 **Prince Charming:** may i say, you looked particularly lovely this morning

Ok, this was definitely on purpose. Virgil might have strangled him if they were anywhere near each other. And if he could figure out how to breathe himself again. Seriously, he was going to get the hiccups if this kept going.

**Emo Nightmare:** how is that a disagreement  
 **Prince Charming:** idk you seem the kind to deny your own amazingness  
 **Prince Charming:** in the immortal words of one direction  
 **Prince Charming:** “you don’t know you’re beautiful”

_This is getting ridiculous._ By now, the tall man was just about to explode. How much of this could he take?

_No. 2 can play at this game. It’s not over yet._

**Emo Nightmare:** oh? And who are you to judge, Mr. “What rock-hard abs?”

Roman didn’t respond for the longest time. Long enough that Virgil could almost picture his face, half offended, half flustered. He’d seen it far too many times in the short time he’d known the barista.

**Prince Charming:** you  
 **Prince Charming:** are a surprisingly good flirt  
 **Emo Nightmare:** flirting? Nah  
 **Emo Nightmare:** just calling you out  
 **Emo Nightmare:** bc you are the biggest fuckin hypocrite i’ve ever seen  
 **Emo Nightmare:** if i had a jawline like that you know i’d be cutting cheese with it in front of every hot guy i see  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i don’t think i’m the oblivious hottie here

Virgil could practically feel the heat coming off of Roman’s face through his phone. It was far too satisfying to see the little dots typing and erasing and typing again until finally…

**Prince Charming:** you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you gorgeous?

Well, it was fun while it lasted. The emo should have known he couldn’t outmatch the apparent king of flirtation. It was an instant K.O.

**Emo Nightmare:** shut up you just can’t admit I’m right  
 **Prince Charming:** whatever you say fairest of them all  
 **Prince Charming:** anything else you got hidden under that beautiful eyeshadow?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ha  
 **Emo Nightmare:** nice try  
 **Emo Nightmare:** nothing here but emotional baggage, my dude  
 **Prince Charming:** wanna talk about it?

Virgil’s stomach lurched. _What?_ How could someone switch gears so fast? How did they get there?

**Emo Nightmare:** not with a near total stranger  
 **Emo Nightmare:** best get used to disappointment Princey

_Prince Charming is typing…_

_Shit. I blew it._ Virgil wanted to slap himself. What was he even doing? And why did he want to tell this random guy he’d met a week ago everything?

**Prince Charming:** believe me, I’ve been trying  
 **Prince Charming:** your making it extremely difficult tho  
 **Prince Charming:** how am I to keep my expectations low when you just keep blowing them out of the atmosphere

It was all the emo could do to not squeal like a little girl. As far as he could figure, this man was sent from god and decided for some reason to focus his charm on this particular mess.

_Emo Nightmare is typing…_

**Emo Nightmare:** *you’re  
 **Prince Charming:** *offense*  
 **Emo Nightmare:** *absolutely no remorse*

His phone vibrated, spouting a cheerful tune that somehow only managed to put a heavy damper on his cheer. Ethan.

**Ethan:** I feel like you’re mad at me

Virgil didn’t know why his spirits sunk the second his best friend texted him. He shouldn’t. They were friends, after all. But he couldn’t help going cold as he clicked on the notification.

**Emo Nightmare:** why would I be mad at you?  
 **Ethan:** idk. You’ve been acting weird ever since last week. Did I do something wrong? Or is it just my overall existence?

The problem with Ethan was that you could never tell if he was joking or not. If he was and you acted serious, he’d make fun of you. If it was real, thinking it was a joke only made it worse. Virgil had discovered over years of personal experience that it was much better just to treat it seriously every time. No amount of ridicule was on par with the fear that overtook him when his friend started acting like this.

**Emo Nightmare:** i’m not mad at you E  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i've just been busy  
 **Ethan:** too busy 4 me?

He always did this. _Yes, Ethan, I have a life outside of you. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. If you could just think about anyone else for 5 minutes-_

**Emo Nightmare:** just haven’t been around my phone much  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i have a life lol  
 **Ethan:** lol not much of one from what i’ve seen  
 **Ethan:** and as your bestie i’ve seen a lot  
 **Ethan:** thats why i love ya hon  
 **Ethan:** ur always there

A chill ran down Virgil’s spine. It sounded like a compliment but felt more like the click of a lock. Always there, always will be. A never ending loop.

**Ethan:** so what have you been doing without me?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** nothing much mostly studying  
 **Ethan:** god u r such a nerd sometimes

Why was he offended so much by a stupid comment? It wasn’t even mean or anything. Or maybe it was just that he knew Ethan didn’t mean it in a kind way. His friend was always making fun of the kids who tried and succeeded.

**Ethan:** I still luv u tho <3

Stiffening, Virgil tried to assure himself it was platonic. Ethan was a friend was all, and Ethan knew that. He knew it.

**Emo Nightmare:** ly2  
 **Ethan:** :)))))))))))))))

Shit. This was getting out of hand.

**Emo Nightmare:** i gtg my mom is calling  
 **Ethan:** awwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
 **Ethan:** alright hurry back  
 **Ethan:** or else I might start thinking you’re cheating on me lololololololol

A pang of guilt rang Virgil through. Which was stupid. You can’t cheat on someone you aren’t and have no intention of dating. Ethan was his friend, and so was Roman. Was that such a crime?

_Yes,_ a tiny voice called from the back of his mind. _You can’t just replace your best friend because he’s a little eccentric sometimes. You’re the one that’s supposed to understand him. Why can’t you just accept him and love him like you’re supposed to? It’s not like he’s not attractive; if you just went out with him, he’d be a lot happier._

But no amount of logic or moral obligation could make Virgil love him like that, and the emo knew it. Dating wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

And so, with a heavy heart and a heavier conscious, he flipped back over to his conversation with Roman.

_3 unread messages_

**Prince Charming:** you are too smooth for your own good, friendo  
 **Prince Charming:** smooth and really fun to talk to  
 **Prince Charming:** yknow I’m really glad we actually got around to talking

Despite everything raging in his head, Virgil couldn’t suppress a grin. Roman really was too much. It was kind of… adorable.

**Emo Nightmare:** me too  
 **Emo Nightmare:** how else would sweet little emile have gotten… what did he call it? The “Call of Destiny?”  
 **Prince Charming:** haha Remy will not shut up about him  
 **Prince Charming:** you are quite the matchmaker Scary Poppins  
 **Prince Charming:** you’re gonna make some lucky suitor very happy one day  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i could say the same thing about you. Any man worth a damn would have to win the lottery to be luckier than your boyfriend

Alright, so he was flirting. It was hard not to when Roman’s openness and cocky attitude had Virgil burning to make him blush.

Not that he wanted Roman in that way. Obviously not. He was just hot and sweet and cute and passionate and adorable and crazy and alive and holy shit he was in love with Roman.

This was bad. Really, really bad. Even if Roman were single (which, face it, was practically impossible), there was no way he’d ever settle for Virgil. Could the emo please, for once, fall for someone he actually had a chance with? Maybe a flaming garbage can?

**Prince Charming:** what boyfriend?

Holy fucking shit. What did this bitch think he was doing? And why was he succeeding?

**Emo Nightmare:** maybe the boyfriend you were looking for on wednesday  
 **Prince Charming:** oh god did i actually say that?  
 **Prince Charming:** god I am such a whale penis  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ?????????????????  
 **Prince Charming:** *DORK  
 **Prince Charming:** god remind me to kill my brother for messing with my autocorrect  
 **Emo Nightmare:** your brother made dork into… whale penis?  
 **Prince Charming:** my ex told him dork was the scientific term for it a long time ago and he hasn’t let it go since  
 **Emo Nightmare:** wow your brother has no chill does he

_Prince Charming is typing…_

Virgil waited. 5 minutes. No response. He mentally slapped himself. _Good fucking job, Virge. You’ve offended him._

**Prince Charming:** his brother thinks you would look hot in a hoodie  
 **Prince Charming:** and if y’all don’t bang it out soon ima lose my fucking mind

Never mind. It was better when there were no texts coming, and Virgil’s foundation was actually covering any colour in his face, and he had the ability to form coherent thoughts.

**Prince Charming:** dsJHFidsJDS

_Prince Charming is typing…_

**Prince Charming:** ohmigod i am sO sorry  
 **Prince Charming:** my brother stole my phone  
 **Emo Nightmare:** how does ur brother know i like hoodies???

The subject of hoodies struck a nerve in Virgil. Ever since he was a kid, he’d felt out of place in his skin. He was always too tall, too pale, too big. There was too much of him and so little inside; it felt like a lie. But in baggy long sleeves and an oversized hood, he felt normal, safe.

**Prince Charming:** idk he says all my friends are depressed gays in desperate need of a hoodie  
 **Emo Nightmare:** unsurprisingly, I could see that  
 **Emo Nightmare:** and for the record, I look horrible in hoodies  
 **Prince Charming:** I highly doubt that you could look bad in anything, especially hoodies  
 **Prince Charming:** seriously whoever told you that has no idea what they’re talking about your entire aesthetic screams hoodies

Virgil had to think about that. He’d never had any reason to question Ethan when it came to fashion, and his friend had always been very adamantly against hoodies, so Virgil had given them up in earnest. After all, he didn’t want to look like a bum like Ethan said he did. But maybe he was wrong. And maybe the emo cared more about feeling comfortable than being pretty. Who was he showing off for? It seemed the only person he had any interest in impressing was perfectly content with his hoodies.

**Emo Nightmare:** maybe he is  
 **Emo Nightmare:** I’ll have to prove you wrong  
 **Emo Nightmare:** see you Wednesday. I’ll be wearing my old hoodie

And maybe this was the start of something wonderful. Maybe this could be the start of an amazing friendship, maybe even something more. Maybe Remy and Emile could have their happily ever after, and Roman and Virgil could see where they’d go, and Ethan could find the perfect guy, and they could both be happy for each other for once instead of fighting every time Virgil met another guy. Maybe everything would be alright.

**Prince Charming:** i can’t wait, my Emo daydream


	5. Tuesday night, Roman’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is back for another night of flirting... and ends up saying a bit more than he'd meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello yes here is some Roman angst because I'm me enjoy!  
> -the friend
> 
> (this was written at 4 am by both me and the owner of this account so that's why it's a hot fucking mess but honestly it's a beauty thank her for the absolute beauty of this)
> 
> oh frick tw:  
> homophobia  
> implied death threats  
> probably swearing  
> self-deprecating thoughts  
> i think that's it tell me if i missed anything

Roman knew he needed to do this. He didn’t know how, but one way or another, he had fallen hard for the mysterious emo. Even though every conversation they had seemed to follow a set pattern (Roman says something dumb, Vigil is confused, flirting flirting, sudden Virgil angst and quick exit), he was determined to make this time different. He liked this guy so much, more than of his measly past crushes, and he would do whatever it took to make something of that. _Now or never._

**Prince Charming:** hey there, Virge  
 **Prince Charming:** tis I  
 **Prince Charming:** the great Roman

_Emo Nightmare is typing…_

He felt his face flush, and he rolled his eyes internally. _Get yourself together, dumbass. You’ve been a shameless flirt your whole life. You can do this._ He wished just the simple act of Virgil typing didn’t make his cardiovascular system shut down, but eventually he gave up and just accepted it.

**Emo Nightmare:** hey there proncey  
 **Emo Nightmare:** *princey  
 **Emo Nightmare:** meh proncey fits too tbh  
 **Prince Charming:** you know, id be offended if you weren’t so J. D-lightful  
 **Emo Nightmare:** puns? really? remind me why i thought this was a good idea again?  
 **Prince Charming:** awwwwww you love me admit it

Roman felt dizzy as he waited for a response.

**Emo Nightmare:** i can and will block u if u dont shut it

He sighed. What had he been expecting? He smiled nonetheless, continuing his flirting as if nothing had happened. He was adamant, and he wasn’t going to quit.

**Prince Charming:** u wouldnt dare, hot topic  
 **Emo Nightmare:** aww, you think im hot? ;)  
 **Prince Charming:** no comment… ;)  
 **Emo Nightmare:** got something to hide there, proncey?  
 **Prince Charming:** lots  
 **Prince Charming:** unfortunately you haven’t unlocked that tragic backstory yet :p  
 **Emo Nightmare:** intriguing. Just when i think i know you… and how do i get to this fantastic tale of tragedy and woe?  
 **Prince Charming:** guess you’ll have to see where the night takes us  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i look forward to it

Roman felt physically sick. There was no way this was happening. There was no chance he was telling Virgil about his mess of a past, especially now. Every little thing this guy did made him giddy, and he wanted to stay in this moment forever.

**Prince Charming:** you say that now...  
 **Prince Charming:** i guarantee you’ll be running for your life when I tell you  
 **Emo Nightmare:** well now I’m dying to know  
 **Prince Charming:** all in due time, my sweet  
 **Emo Nightmare:** your sweet?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** is that an invitation?  
 **Prince Charming:** do you want it to be?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** …

Roman shifted in his seat, eager for a reply. He bit his lip. _Please say yes._

**Emo Nightmare:** anyway  
 **Emo Nightmare:** how was the rest of your day?

His face fell. Oh well, not the worst reply. Still, he kept going, confident in his finely polished pick up lines.

**Prince Charming:** ugh like an alphabet with only 25 letters. the WORST  
 **Emo Nightmare:** how is that the worst???  
 **Prince Charming:** there was no u in it ;)  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i almost regret asking.  
 **Emo Nightmare:** but i suppose it wasnt as bad as my 21 letter day. I was dying to tell you that u r a q t, but i never got the chance :/

His had to bite his lip to keep from grinning. That was adorable. Not good, in fact, it was one of the worst pick up lines he had ever heard, but it was adorable nonetheless.

**Prince Charming:** maybe leave the pick up lines to me, Stormcloud.  
 **Emo Nightmare:** why should you have all the fun?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** you’re blushing, admit it  
 **Prince Charming:** caught red handed  
 **Prince Charming:** or shall i say  
 **Emo Nightmare:** i swear to god please fucking do not  
 **Prince Charming:** red faced?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** blocked, have a nice life :)  
 **Prince Charming:** you wound me, emo  
 **Emo Nightmare:** you are such a dork  
 **Prince Charming:** the one and lonely  
 **Prince Charming:** *only  
 **Emo Nightmare:** somehow i feel like that wasn’t an accident  
 **Prince Charming:** perhaps, perhaps not

It was correct. Roman knew Virgil probably knew that too, but he just kept the conversation going, having too much fun to get into any deep conversations.

**Prince Charming:** the world may never know *stares wistfully into the sunset*  
 **Emo Nightmare:** Jesus Christ how did I fall for you  
 **Emo Nightmare:** w a i t n o -

Roman genuinely thought he might pass out. Virgil had really just said that. He read the words over and over, each time his smile growing. Virgil had fallen for him.

**Prince Charming:** want to type that again? do mine own eyes deceive me?  
 **Emo Nightmare:** yes, they do. Youre illiterate  
 **Emo Nightmare:** Emo Nightmare has left the chat  
 **Prince Charming** : cute, but this isn’t AOL  
 **Prince Charming:** try again, my chemically imbalanced romance <3  
 **Emo Nightmare:** …  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ughhhh i hate you  
 **Prince Charming:** I think you spelled love wrong ;)  
 **Emo Nightmare:** fiNE OK  
 **Emo Nightmare:** I WANT TO PUT MY MOUTH ON YOUR MOUTH

Roman thought he might actually be dead. There was no way that was a text he had just received from his crush. A vine reference and a declaration of love? Was there nothing about this guy Roman didn’t adore?

**Prince Charming:** ah, a man of culture as well i see. i love vine  
 **Prince Charming:** almost as much as i love you  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ya caught me. Well princey, nothing left to do other than start a life together i suppose.  
 **Emo Nightmare** : i want to own a hamster with you

Roman snickered. A Miraculous Ladybug reference too? God, this guy had to be perfect.

**Emo Nightmare:** i want to meet your parents

His smile faded. There it was. There is where it all comes crashing down.

**Prince Charming:** ah  
 **Prince Charming:** that would be where the tragic backstory comes in  
 **Prince Charming:** meeting my family would not be…………………  
 **Prince Charming:** the best idea  
 **Emo Nightmare** : how so?

Roman swallowed hard. He knew he didn’t have a choice anymore. He had to be honest. He had fallen in love with this guy, there was no way around it. And he knew that meant he had to be honest. Before it was too late.

_Prince Charming is typing…_

**Prince Charming:** well you see, ive had a boyfriend before, but only one  
 **Prince Charming:** he was cute and smart and he liked me, and i was young and giddy and stupid with love  
 **Prince Charming:** and my brother already knew and he was fine with it so I thought what the hell  
 **Prince Charming:** so I brought him home to meet my dad  
 **Prince Charming:** and hes not exactly the most accepting person out there  
 **Prince Charming:** But I thought hey he has to be ok with this  
 **Prince Charming:** like I’m his favourite son right

**Emo Nightmare:** oh god  
 **Emo Nightmare:** ro, I’m so sorry

**Prince Charming:** heh  
 **Prince Charming:** not as sorry as you’ll be when I tell you what happened next  
 **Prince Charming:** Logan told me it was a bad idea, but I was so sure it’d be fine. I was blinded by my love for him and my love for my dad, and i didnt see anything else. I refused to see reason.  
 **Prince Charming:** I’ll spare you the details for both our sanities, but long story short, he chased Logan out with a shotgun. There was no harm done, i dont think, at least not physically.  
 **Prince Charming:** i haven’t seen him since. i dont blame him. some of the things he said….

And for a moment, neither said a word. Roman’s heart quickened its pace. _He’s gone. Probably for the best. If you love them, let them go._ As much as he wanted to help Virgil, he knew he’d probably just make things worse.

**Prince Charming:** still want that hamster with me?

No response. Not a word, not a speech bubble. He was truly, completely gone.

He knew it was too good to be true. He knew he’d blow it one way or another, eventually it would all come crashing down. Roman could flirt all he wanted, but when it came to an actual relationship, he went from hopeless romantic to simply hopeless.

_Emo Nightmare is typing…_

It was like someone had taken a defibrillator straight to his broken heart. How the hell was Virgil even considering talking to him again after such a mess?

**Emo Nightmare:** Roman, you are truly one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You bring out the best in me every time we’re together. I know it’s only been like a week since we formally met or talked or anything, but that just makes it all the more impressive that you’ve changed me so much in that time. If I hadn’t met you, I’m certain I wouldn’t be as happy as I am right now. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was as happy as I am when I’m with you. I have no idea why or how, but Roman Prince, trust me when I say that I would get 100 hamsters with you.  
 **Emo Nightmare:** except maybe not I’m allergic to hamsters that was a theoretical fantasy  
 **Emo Nightmare:** but still, I’d probably brave it for you. And believe me, no amount of shotguns will keep you from ever seeing me again :)

Roman had had much cause in his life to question himself. He used to lie awake in bed wondering if he was actually the hero in his own personal story. His early teens had been spent terrified of the idea that he was only gay for the attention. Every time his dad had yelled at him or locked him in his room, he’d agonised over what he’d done wrong, even when it was nothing at all. The only time he’d ever been sure of anything was with Logan, and that had blown up in his face.

But there wasn’t a moment where Roman didn’t believe every word Virgil said. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that what he felt for Virgil was real. And there wasn’t a moment’s hesitation before Roman started typing again, grinning from ear to ear as the tears vanished.

**Prince Charming:** perhaps a cat then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup that's Roman's backstory I'm evil n stuff. hope you liked all the flirting cuz that's the last bit of even kind of fluff you're getting for a little while muahahaha  
> seeya friday ;)
> 
> ps I honestly had no idea what i was doing when i wrote this sry it's so weird


	6. Wednesday, Roman’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is ecstatic to see his boyfriend (it feels so nice to finally say that)
> 
> it doesn't quite go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go finally the plot is back did you miss it I did  
> sorry this is really short but I'm posting 2 today
> 
> tw: toxic friendships  
> swearing  
> lemme know if I missed one
> 
> I sincerely apologise for Ethan's existence
> 
> enjoy :)

Roman was practically bouncing off the walls waiting for the clock to strike 4. He couldn’t help keeping his eyes glued to the door, even as he made people’s drinks. He couldn’t wait the extra 2 minutes to see his boyfriend, couldn’t bear another second of it. He’d always manned the counter around this time, but he was there extra early that day. 

It wasn’t just the fact that he had a boyfriend now that had him so jittery. It was that it was Virgil. Virgil, who cared so much about everyone he met. Virgil, who knew exactly what to say to liven up his day. Virgil, who trusted him enough to let himself be free when they were together. 

It was just Virgil, and it was all he needed. 

So when the bell on the door jingled and a short, stylish man in a leather jacket and thick, beautiful makeup walked into the busy cafe followed closely by a terrified looking emo, Roman would be lying through crooked teeth if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat. 

The pair strode up to the counter slowly, Ethan smiling lazily and Virgil giving him a look that told him that something was very wrong here. 

It took him until they reached the counter to put the pieces together. Virgil couldn’t talk his best friend out of their weekly tradition this time. Ethan had no clue about the two of them. And by the fear in his boyfriend’s eyes, it was his job to keep it that way. 

So he plastered on a fake smile and tried to pretend everything was normal. “Hi! Welcome to Beanie’s! What can I get you today?”

The snake eyed man him suspiciously, glancing back at his friend who’d gained a sudden keen interest in his shoes. Roman locked his own eyes onto the scar on his cheek as to not wilt looking at the sad, subdued version of Virgil in front of him. 

Finally, Ethan clicked his tongue. “Hmmm,” he drawled. “I’ll have a green tea. And Virge, babe, what would you like?”

The tall boy glanced up, confused but frightened. “Wh-what?”

His friend laughed. “It’s not a hard question, honey. What. Do you want. To drink?”

Roman had to force himself to look bored. If he let this facade down for one moment, he’d surely be knocking the manipulative snake unconscious. But that wasn’t what Virgil wanted. 

Keeping his eyes glued to the floor, Virgil stammered, “black… black coffee.”

Roman admired the emo’s resolve to make sure his friends were happy, but this was ridiculous. How fucking dare that little dick play his boyfriend like a fucking fiddle? Who gave this worthless little shit the right to call the most amazing person on the planet “babe?”

He’d’ve pulverised that asshole on the spot for what he did if it weren’t for the pleading desperation in Virgil’s eyes. 

“Um,” Roman said, all sense of pep gone, “can I have a name for the order?”

Ethan locked eyes with him once more, a mischievous smirk spreading across his face. 

“Logan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it begins.  
> I have no patience whatsoever so today is going to be a double upload  
> Please leave a comment so I can feel like a person again  
> I hope you find $5000 dollars in your laundry today and someone tells you how amazing you are because you all deserve it :)


	7. Also Wednesday, Virgil’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely nothing to say for myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehehehehehehehe  
> sorry not sorry
> 
> trigger warnings at the end because some of them are spoilers

Virgil was trying his hardest not to cry. He could see Roman behind the counter trying to keep everything in: the rage, the fear, the hurt. _Oh god, he doesn’t think I told Ethan about Logan, does he?_

Today had been one disaster after the next. It had started out so well, too. He’d been so excited to see his boyfriend. He’d dressed his finest in his favourite purple hoodie, he’d combed his bangs out of the way, he’d even lightened up his eyeshadow. The unapproachable appearance didn’t seem as important.

He was so excited, he completely forgot about Ethan. That’s how he ended up cornered at the end of class. That’s how Ethan convinced him to go with him to Beanie’s, and to leave the hoodie behind. Again.

He had no idea how Ethan knew about Logan or anything about his boyfriend. He just wanted to keep Roman safe.

Look how well that turned out.

Ethan turned to him, a big smile plastered on his face. “Isn’t the sky beautiful today, darling?” he asked rather loudly. Behind the counter, Roman flinched. “Would you like to sit outside with me? It’s a bit crowded in here.”

It wasn’t really a question, he knew, but it was strange to hear it phrased that way. It was never a question. Still, he nodded.

Roman walked toward them, stiff, and shoved the drinks onto the counter. “Enjoy your day,” he chirped. Virgil had to admit, he was a pretty good actor.

Ethan’s smile widened as he grabbed the drinks, glancing at the nametag pinned on the barista’s perfect chest. “Thank you so much… Roman.” Virgil felt his blood start to boil, but he shoved it down and followed his friend out to the patio.

They sat down on a small bench, Ethan sipping his tea and Virgil pretending to drink his coffee. He wasn’t sure why his friend was so sure he liked coffee, but he’d never had the nerve to tell him the truth.

Ethan rested his hand onto the taller man’s thigh; Virgil tried hard not to jerk away. “You know, Virgil, I can see what’s happening here.”

The emo’s heart stopped. “What do you mean?”

“I feel so horrible. I saw how that barista was looking at you. You know, you don’t have to hide it from me. I can help you.”

“Um, with what?”

“Don’t pretend like there’s nothing wrong, Virge. I know you. And if this man is harassing you, I can help. You don’t have to hold all your pain inside. I got rid of him inside, I can do it again. All you have to do is ask.”

Something told him it would happen whether he asked or not. Desperately, he tried to explain. “Roman isn’t harassing me, he’s my friend-”

“Oh, please. He was practically drooling over you inside.” He leaned closer, wrapping his arm around Virgil’s waist. “Look, I have an old friend who knew him. He’s bad news. The last boyfriend he had was messed up for like a year. He’s pretty, sure, but he lures you in just to break your heart. It’s sickening, really. You’re lucky I was there to save you.”

Virgil felt sick. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. His worst nightmares had all come true at once, and he couldn’t do a thing about it. He was going to cry. He was going to be sick. He was a coward, and he was stuck.

That’s why he didn’t move a muscle when Ethan pulled Virgil’s face closer to his with a delicate hand.

Their lips connected. Ethan’s mouth moved against his, but Virgil was frozen. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t feel. All he felt was cold.

The short man broke away after a long while, smiling giddily. “See, Virge? I can be romantic too. Don’t worry, I’ll always be here for you.”

He didn’t say a word as Ethan grabbed his hand and dragged him to the car. But when he looked back, he saw Roman. Roman, white faced, wide-eyed, hurt etched in every inch of his beautiful face.

He didn’t even have the strength to wave goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um.... yeah. don't kill me. the worst is yet to come. poor everyone honestly
> 
> tw: crying  
> toxic friendships  
> anxiety  
> non consensual touching and kissing
> 
> how's that for a cliffhanger huh


	8. One Week Later, Thursday Night, Roman’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week, and Roman still isn't over his liar of an ex-boyfriend. Remy tries to comfort him. Love really is a bitch, huh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um  
> here we are  
> I am so sorry  
> At least Remy is back?  
> Don't kill me just yet it's almost pride month
> 
> tw in the endnotes because they're spoilers but seriously this is a dark chapter read at your own risk
> 
> I hope you have a good day!

Roman couldn’t stop thinking about him.

It was so stupid. The dude was a jerk. He’d taken his heart and smashed it to pieces. And just when he’d thought he'd finally found something real.

Was Ethan ever even a bad person, or was it all just a con? What was even the motive? Why would Virgil lead him on like that just to tear it down a day later? None of it made sense.

A hand rested on his shoulder from behind, snapping him out of his thoughts. Remy smiled sympathetically at him. “Hon, I know it’s hard, but you have to let go. Don’t give him the time of day. He was a dick, and letting him get to you is just letting him win. You’re a fucking catch, babe, and if he couldn’t see that, then he’s even more of an idiot than that guy who comes in every morning just to get a water.”

Roman snorted. “Easy for you to say. You _have_ a boyfriend. A perfect one, at that.”

Sighing dramatically, he said, “It’s true, Emile _is_ a perfect human being, and I did somehow manage to keep him with a mix of my killer good looks and my amazing personality, and it is the best relationship I’ve ever had I wouldn’t be surprised if we were soulmates, and what was this about again?” With a laugh, Roman shoved his best friend playfully. “Look, the point is, you’ll find your soulmate someday; god knows it’s gonna be some rich model or prince or something, we all know you deserve it. That asshole wasn’t your soulmate, and he definitely didn’t deserve you. He ghosted Emile too, you know. What a bitch. I say you do to him what Starbucks did to their honey latte in 2008 and pretend he never existed. Serves him right, honestly.”

“I know, I know,” Roman groaned. “It’s just… it felt so _real_ , you know? I really thought he was the one. He was just so sweet and genuine. I should have known it was too good to be true.”

“Believe me hon, I’ve been there. Boys are the devil. They find your weakness and then break your heart. Such cruel creatures.”

“Says the guy I met at a gay bar when someone specifically told me to stay away from you.”

Remy raised his hands defensively. “I never said I wasn’t one of them. I’m a bitch off caffeine, we all know. But you know what we do when we get our hearts broken?”

“...cry?”

“Use a picture of them as target practice and then completely forget they exist. Seriously Roman, with a body like that how don’t you know this?”

Roman was about to ask what he meant when the bell on the door jingled.

His mouth dropped open.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Remy growled.

“Roman! Oh, thank god you’re here.” Virgil looked about on the brink of collapse. He was panting and crying, and there was something dark on his face that could either have been mud or blood. He ran up to the counter in desperation, looking almost insane.

He reached for Roman’s hand, but Remy grabbed his wrist.

“How fucking dare you,” the barista snarled. “How dare you come in here after everything you’ve done and pretend there’s nothing wrong, you fucking dick. You cannot just fuck with my friend and expect everything will be fine a week later. Now listen to me; you better leave this shop right now and let my best friend live his life without having to deal with worthless jerks like you, or I swear to whatever messed up god runs this planet I will show you exactly what 9 shots of espresso can do.”

Somehow, Virgil managed to look even more frightened than before, but he stared Remy down with the courage of a death row inmate who had nothing left to lose. “I’m not here to fight, I swear.”

With a humourless snort, Remy tightened his grip, pulling the scared man closer. “Yeah? Tell that to my best friend whose heart you broke and my boyfriend whose trust you violated. They both thought they could trust you, and look where that got them. Why should I trust you now?”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t trust me. I’ve been a horrible person lately, and there’s nothing I can say to make up for that. I did shitty things, and I was too scared to fix it. I’m not here to pretend like I have a reason behind any of my actions. I’m only here to right an old wrong, and then I’ll stay out of your way forever. Roman,” he pleaded, finally looking at him, “let me talk to you for 5 minutes, and then I’ll never bother you again.”

Remy rolled his eyes. “As if you’re in any position to make demands, sweetheart-”

“Rem!” Roman snapped. “I can speak for myself! Let him go!”

“But he-”

“Now!”

Reluctantly, Remy released his grip, and the emo nearly crumpled to the ground before Roman caught him by the elbow. “Woah, Virgil. Steady. Take a seat.”

He slipped out from behind the counter and sat across the table from the man he’d been hating on just minutes before. “Alright,” he said, emotionless. “First things first; are you alright?”

Virgil stared at him like he'd just asked if he were a murderer. “Why do you care? I was so shitty to you; why are you being so nice to me? Your friend is right. I don’t deserve any sort of kindness from you.”

“Just because you were a dick doesn’t mean you aren’t bleeding. Now, what happened to you, asshole?” He couldn’t be mad at him while he was suffering.

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“Ha, that’s funny. REMY!” he shouted. “GET THE FIRST AID KIT!”

“WHY SHOULD I?”

“BECAUSE YOU STILL OWE ME!”

“GODDAMNIT RO, ARE YOU EVER GOING TO LET ME LIVE THAT DOWN?”

“JUST STOP BEING A FUCKING IDIOT AND GET THE GODDAMN FIRST AID KIT!”

Roman took his friend’s silence as an agreement.

When Remy finally stopped grumbling and threw the first aid kit at the table, Roman finally turned back to Virgil. “Alright, I’m gonna ask you once again. Where are you hurt? Don’t say you’re fine; I can see the blood, and by the way you’ve been walking, I have to assume there’s more somewhere else. Show me where the pain is, tell me what the hell happened to you, and then you can say what you came here to say. I can’t listen to you if I don’t know what’s happened.”

For a moment, Virgil looked unsure. But then he sighed and pulled off his hoodie, and Roman’s eyes widened.

The cut on his forehead was much bigger than he’d originally thought. It didn’t look very deep, but it was bleeding a lot and it looked almost fresh. But that wasn’t the worst of it. Blood seeped out of a thick tear in the fabric at the bottom of his shirt. The wound itself was dark and very obviously dirty. Even Remy, who was seething in the corner, couldn’t quite suppress a gasp as his glare softened.

Virgil tried to smile, but it looked more like a pained grimace. “What’s the matter, Princey? Never seen a stab wound before?”

When Roman’s horrified gaze didn’t lift, Virgil sighed. “Tough crowd, jeez. It’s not as bad as it looks, okay?” he muttered, shifting and wincing in a way that showed it was definitely worse than it looked.

It took a long few moments for Roman to find his voice again. “Who?” was all he could say.

The emo wouldn’t look him in the eyes. “I swear, I can barely feel it.”

Roman stood, taking a small step closer with a shaky fervor. “Who did this to you?”

And then he realised just how much Virgil was shaking. He finally looked up again, and Roman saw the wildness of his eyes. A wildness he hadn’t seen since…

“No,” the barista said. Because he couldn’t be right. That was impossible. No one could be that crazy.

But no one made Virgil scared like this. No one else could do that to him.

“He didn’t,” Roman whispered. But Virgil’s eyes confirmed his suspicions.

“Remy?” he squeaked, never breaking eye contact with the emo. “You might want to lock the doors. If this goes badly, I’m gonna need all the incentive I can get to not buy a gun and go kill a bitch.”

Thank god the knife hadn’t hit anything vital. Virgil gave him the number of a doctor friend of his, who introduced himself as Patton and kindly talked the two hopeless baristas through cleaning and bandaging the wound. Despite his promise, the emo didn’t say a word through the entire process. Roman got the feeling he didn’t want to say anything in front of Remy.

The prince’s mind was racing. He’d known Ethan was a psycho, but how did he go from kissing to stabbing in a week? And why would he stab Virgil, his crush, his _friend?_ It made no sense.

But here it was, clear as day, and Roman was sure this wasn’t at all what he’d thought.

Virgil didn’t have his phone, a fact he’d learned when the wounded man had asked to borrow Roman’s to call his friend. He hadn’t thought much of it, having been too worried about the large, possibly infected hole in Virgil’s side, but now he had to wonder. What had happened in the last week?

Once everything was bandaged and Patton had assured him for the fifth time that Virgil was going to be fine with a few days of taking it easy, Roman asked his friend to go get more bandages from the nearest pharmacy. Shockingly, Remy left without complaint. He looked extremely shaken.

Roman came to sit next to Virgil at a table. It was terrifying how quiet they both were. The prince hadn’t seen him ever look so… small.

“I’m so sorry,” he whimpered, at last breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have come back here; all I’ve done is cause more trouble. I just… I had to make sure you were ok.”

“Virgil.” His voice broke. He hadn’t let himself say that name since that horrible Wednesday when his life had come crashing down. Still, it felt right on his tongue now. “How can you be thinking about my health right now? You’re-” he sighed. “You shouldn’t be worrying about me.”

Virgil sniffled. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you doing all of this for me? After all you’ve seen, all I’ve done? You should want me dead. You should hate me; hell, you wouldn’t be the only one, either. Why are you helping me when all I’ve done is hurt you?”

Roman stiffened at the venom in his words but melted when he realised all of it was aimed at himself. Slowly, the barista put his arm around the man who, it turned out, he could never bear to let go of. He flinched, then glanced back at Roman and melted into the embrace.

“Virgil, I could never hate you. And from what I’ve seen today, I’m not quite sure if I know anything about what I saw.”

He turned to look Roman dead in the eyes, and the barista saw they were set in determination. “You at least deserve an explanation. That, I can give you.”

“You don’t have to-”

Virgil silenced him with a look. “I want to.”

So Roman shut himself the fuck up and let Virgil tell the story he’s been hinting at for the last 3 pages.

“Ok, so you know how Ethan’s always had a sort of crush on me?” Roman’s blood boiled, but he nodded. “Well, I didn’t know he was coming with me that day, and he saw the way I was looking at you I guess, and he freaked out. He does this thing where he tries to get rid of people trying to take his- his friends by acting all sweet and protective. And it works, every time; I honestly don’t know how.

“Well, he took me outside and told me he knew someone who knew you. Said Logan was messed up from dating you, and that I was lucky he’d dragged me away. I wanted to tell him it wasn’t like that, but he…” the emo hesitated, looking paler than usual. “He kissed me.”

Roman’s blood ran cold. He’d already known this, of course, but to hear it straight from Virgil? He couldn’t kid himself and pretend it was a jealous hallucination anymore.

“And I just stood there. I should have run, should’ve pulled away. God knows this wouldn’t be happening right now if I had. But I was just so…”

 _Enamoured_ , Roman’s mind supplied when Virgil didn’t finish his sentence. _I was just so charmed by the little snake; he made me realise just how much I was missing._

“...scared,” he finished, and the barista had to choke back a sigh of relief. Which was absolutely stupid. Why did he care so much?

“I was terrified of what he’d do to you if I did anything too rash. I couldn’t bear the thought of him ever being near you again. Because he didn’t deserve to even talk to you, and… well, neither did I. So I let him kiss me, and I let him take me away, and I let him cut you out of my life. Cut everyone out of my life, really. He took me to a cabin in the woods, didn’t let me leave. I left his sight for 5 minutes that first day, and when I came back my phone was smashed beyond repair. He said it was an accident.

“That wasn’t before I saw your texts, though. I’m not sure if you sent any more, but all I saw was you begging for an answer, you wanting to know why. I couldn’t answer. I should’ve. I just… I had nothing to say for myself.

“I don’t know what made me fight back. He kept me trapped in there for the entire week. I thought it wouldn’t be too bad at first, but then…”

“You okay, Virge?” Roman asked, noticing the tears welling up in the emo’s eyes. “You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with.”

But Virgil waved him off. “No, I have to tell someone, and I’m glad it’s you. I just wish it hadn’t happened at all. Anyway, when we got there, I realised… there was only one bed.”

With those 5 words, Roman was on his feet, barely hearing Virgil’s meek protests through the blood rushing in his ears. He was going to murder that bitch.

“If he-”

“Roman, calm down.” The tall man’s voice was steady, deadly calm. “He didn’t do anything. God, he wanted to. He’s really not one for subtlety. But he didn’t get anything from it. After knowing him for 9 years, you start to learn the art of pretending to be oblivious. I kept waving him off, friend zoning him, making it as clear as I could that I wasn’t interested, everything but outright rejecting him. I thought if I just kept going, he’d give up eventually and let me go.

“But this morning, he cornered me. Confessed 4 years worth of feelings towards me. Asked me if I wanted to go out. And what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let him win.

“And I guess something inside of me just… snapped. I wasn’t thinking. I told him I already had a boyfriend, and that you were a million times the man he’d ever be. I honestly thought that would be the end of it.”

Roman couldn’t explain the rush of euphoria at that word, so familiar and so beautiful. All he knew was that it was perfectly matched to the surge of despair he felt when he heard his lover’s next words.

“And then he pulled out the knife.”

Virgil took a shaky breath. “I thought he was gonna stab himself at first. He’s been suicidal before. That night we met, I had to leave because he was on the brink. I’m still not sure if any of it was real; so much of what I know of him has turned out to be a lie so far. But it doesn’t matter. I took a step forward, trying to calm him down, and he grabbed me. Kissed me so long I couldn’t breathe for a while after.

“That’s when he stabbed me. He told me… he told me…” He was on the verge of tears again.

“Virge? Calm down. It’s ok. He’s not going to hurt you again.”

“Yes,” was all Virgil said. “Yes, he is. He told me he couldn’t have me following him. Said he was going to save me, that he was going to find a fitting punishment for ruining our relationship. Roman,” he breathed. “Roman, he’s coming to kill you.”

The barista’s eyes widened. “He’s going to fucking what?”

“That’s why I came back. I’m not here for forgiveness. I’m not here to justify any of the shit you’ve been through over the past week. I just… I had to warn you. God, I took so long to get out of there, I was sure I was too late. I’m so glad you’re ok.”

Virgil stood, then did the unexpected. He stooped down and hugged Roman. Shocked, the prince froze for a moment, then gripped the back of the man he loved and vowed not to let go until his Knight was alright.

It was the emo who pulled away first, puzzlement throwing his features into sharp focus and Roman into the ditch of hopeless gayness. “I don’t understand,” he muttered. “I practiced this on the way here. This is the part where you tell me you never want to see me again and I tell you that I don’t blame you. Why are you hugging me back? I just told you my psychotic best friend is coming to kill you, and you’re just standing there. Aren’t you going to run?”

Roman laughed, and though it was pained, it was also genuine. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, my Emo Daydream. It’s going to take more than a death threat to keep me away from you.”

“I’m not quite sure I follow.”

“Then let me put it this way.” He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against Virgil’s. “I still want to get a hamster with you.”

The emo blushed. “God, I actually said that, didn’t I?”

“Yes. Yes you did. And I will lord it over you until the day I die.”

Virgil grimaced. “Let’s try and make sure that day isn’t tomorrow. Best I can figure, he’s only waiting so he can think of the most painful way to go about it. You can’t die, Ro. You can’t. I… I love you. I could never forgive myself if you-”

Roman hushed him. “Don’t worry; I think I have a plan. Believe me, I don’t want to leave you behind.”

Scrunching up his face in the cute way Roman loved, Virgil sighed. “You really mean that? You love me again? Just like that?”

The barista smiled. “Who said I ever stopped?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...ok now you can kill me
> 
> tw: swearing  
> blood  
> crying  
> mentioned stabbings  
> self-hatred  
> toxic friendships  
> abusive relationships  
> isolation as a manipulation tactic  
> fear of repercussions  
> implied attempted non-con  
> referenced non-consensual kissing  
> death threats
> 
> jesus that's a long list take care of yourselves people  
> feel free to leave a comment telling me just how much you hate me  
> but also like don't worry there's fluff coming Wednesday and it'll be kinda worth it i hope  
> other than that I hope you have an amazing day, drink lots of water, and your crush texts you out of nowhere to check on you!


	9. The Next Day, Virgil’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole gang is here on the eve (well, morning) of crisis. Leave it to them to completely forget about the plot and just have some fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hello! You there! Yes, you! You're amazing so here's a little bit of fluff to make up for literally everything that just happened. COME ONE, COME ALL! this is a rare occurrence so enjoy it while it lasts
> 
> tw: extreme fluff  
> dad hugs  
> playful punches  
> referenced homophobia  
> referenced funeral?  
> vague and unexplained slight sexual innuendo  
> bad cartoon references
> 
> ok some of those aren't triggering but best you know what you're getting anyway!

It was weird, being at the coffee shop this early in the morning. The sun had barely come up yet, bathing the sky in a beautiful pink light, like the light dusting of blush on Roman’s cheeks that he loved so much. It felt amazing to be out of the cabin and with people he could trust.

When Remy came back and they’d explained about Ethan, the caffeinated menace had been quick to forgive. In fact, he was practically fawning over Virgil the entire night.

He glanced at the two baristas setting up shop. They were surprisingly jovial, especially after being told one of them was at the top of a hit list. Perhaps it was because Emile was coming to meet them in a few minutes. Virgil was happy about that too; he hadn’t seen his cartoon loving friend in far too long.

Roman snickered at his phone, catching the emo’s attention. “Whatcha doin, babe?” he asked with a smirk. It felt good to say that word.

To his surprise, his boyfriend’s eyes widened, and he tugged the phone closer to his chest. “Nothing,” he said quickly.

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. “Babe, who are you texting?”

Seeming far too nervous for it to be nothing, the barista cleared his throat. “Ok um, don’t get mad, alright? I just… babe, you look like you’re the sole survivor of a horror movie. I wanted to make sure you were ok. So I may have talked to someone who might cheer you up a bit.”

The tall man stared at his boyfriend, realisation dawning on him. “Oh my god. You did not call-”

“VIRGIL!” a voice screamed from the doorway. Before he could even look up, the man in question was tackled and pulled into an inescapable bear hug.

“Roman told me everything,” Patton whispered into his ear. “Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you, my dark strange son.”

Virgil chuckled, unable to hide his excitement. His friend was here. “Hey there, padre. You gonna let me breathe anytime soon?”

“Never,” he replied before pulling away and turning to the stunned barista. “Hey! You must be Roman! Thank you so much for getting me here, Virge never tells me when anything happens. Oh, I brought my boyfriend along by the way, hope you don’t mind. Wow, this is a really nice coffee place!”

Roman looked extremely confused, but he nodded and smiled. Suppressing a laugh, Virgil stared at his friend. “Jesus, Pat, you have a boyfriend now? How did you find someone who deserves you? They’ve gotta be a very rare breed.”

Patton blushed. “Yeah, he’s… perfect. I’m glad I found him. Turns out, good things do happen when you go to the library. Sometimes.”

The three of them chuckled as a deep voice cut through the room. “Correction: good things always happen when you go to the library.”

Patton squealed and ran to the doorway, where a very tall man stood. “He’s here! Logan, this is my best friend, Virgil, and his boyfriend Roman.”

“Nice to meet ya,” Virgil drawled, taking in the guy. He was thin but lean; you could tell he worked out. He wore a collared shirt and a tie, and his glasses were thick and squared.

When Roman said nothing, Virgil looked back at him, then froze as the pieces put themselves together in his mind. _Logan. Roman’s Logan. Out of all the Logan’s in the world, did it have to be this one?_ His boyfriend was staring at the new arrival in horror.

Logan took a step forward, shocked. “Roman? Roman Prince?”

Roman swallowed. “Logan Witt. It’s… been a while.”

They both stepped forward again until they were less than a yard apart. The barista held out his hand for a formal shake, which Logan accepted.

And then pulled Roman into a hug. The prince looked confused, as did Patton, but Logan was smiling. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, you halfwit. It’s been far too long.”

Roman softened, smiling slightly. “It really has, Microsoft Nerd.”

Virgil broke into a wide grin. This was almost too cute to watch. His friend, however, still looked lost.

“Um,” he said, mystified. “Can someone please explain what just happened?”

The two pulled away, laughing, and turned to Patton. It was Logan who spoke. “Patton, I’d like you to meet Roman, my ex boyfriend.”

The puffball’s chin dropped to the floor. “The- the first one?”

“Yes.”

“The one-”

“Whose father called me a demon come to drag his son down into hell, yes.” Roman flinched, but the kindness never left his ex’s eyes.

Until, of course, he punched the barista in the shoulder.

Roman, unprepared, slipped on the tile and fell to the ground, clutching his clavicle and groaning. Virgil’s eyes widened, and he heard Patton gasp.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Logan shouted. “I was so scared for you! You can’t just show me your horrible, terrifying enigma of a father and then ignore my calls! I thought you were dead until a few weeks ago when my friend told me his ex had said hi to you for me! Does it hurt to pick up a phone every once and a while to tell your ex that their crazy parents hadn’t murdered you?”

Roman stared up at Logan, aghast. Behind them, Patton looked completely bewildered.

“Well, damn,” Remy drawled from behind the cash register. “Where’s the popcorn?”

Everyone glared at him, and he raised his arms defensively. “Just because no one wants to introduce me doesn’t mean I’m not here. You know me, I love a good show.”

Sighing, the other barista glanced back up at the guy who’d punched him. “Ignore Remy. What do you mean, I ignore your calls? I never got any calls!”

Logan cleared his throat and regained his composure, but there was still venom in his voice when he said, “And did it ever occur to you, you imbecile, to check if my number was blocked?”

Silence filled the room.

“Well, how was I meant to know that? I thought you hated me! Besides, you couldn’t find me in the real world?”

“I was living with my grandma for the summer! I live 8 hours away, you thick head!”

“And you never came back, smartass?”

“Once, for her funeral. I swear on Newton’s grave, if you hadn’t inadvertently faked your death all those years ago, I’d most definitely have broken up with you by now.”

“Yeah, that goes twice for me!”

“Alright, alright, break it up, babes,” Remy groaned, stepping in between the two of them. Patton came to intertwine his hand with his boyfriend’s, and Virgil stepped forward to help his own boyfriend up from the floor. “God, this is stupider than one of Roman’s weird Shakespeare tragedies. Look, you’re mad, I get it. But Roman is alive, and Logan…” he trailed off, staring at the smart man’s tie, “...is incredibly ripped.”

Patton coughed, adjusting his grip in his lover’s hand. “And taken.”

“Don’t worry, cutie, so am I. Anyway, this is the weirdest misunderstanding I’ve seen in my life, but babes, it’s all coincidence. Like that mathematical thing that’s like ‘if you go to Starbucks every day, then you will be happier.’”

“Causation?” Logan supplied.

“Yeah, that. Look, it’s a chain reaction of bad luck, but it’s over now. Just put it all behind you.”

Roman squinted. “Remy, that’s the most intelligent thing I’ve ever heard you say. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

With a glare, Remy replied, “You don’t want to mess with me, Ro. I have your boyfriend, your ex, and a doctor all in the same room, and I can and will tell them what happened at Toby’s birthday party 2 years ago.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wanna test that theory?”

Squeaking, Roman backed behind his boyfriend. “You’re evil.”

“The worst,” he shot back with a smirk. “Or was Nancy Kline the worst? I can’t quite remember…”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Now, Rem,” a familiar voice chided. The emo’s heart leaped. “Let’s not ruin your friend’s life. Like SpongeBob taught us: some things are better left to the imagination.”

Remy and Patton both squealed and ran at Emile, who opened his arms as wide as his smile to accept the embraces. “What’s up, doc?”

Patton stepped back, ready to start talking at the speed of light, but before he could, Remy grabbed the therapist’s face and kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

When they at last broke away, Remy moaned. “Oh, Dr. Picani. I think I need to schedule another appointment. Do you have any space in your timetable? Preferably tonight at 8 at my house?”

Emile blushed. “U-um…” he stammered. “The doc is in!”

Virgil snorted. “Doc McStuffins? How fitting.”

But then Emile’s eyes widened, and he was rushing up to Virgil. The tall man froze, expecting to be told off. Instead, he was enveloped in a warm hug. “I’m so glad you’re ok, baby Maleficent.”

He hugged back. “I’m so sorry I scared you. Please don’t hate me.”

“Hey, you know what I always say. If every porkchop were perfect-”

“We wouldn’t have hotdogs,” Virgil finished, grinning from ear to ear. He pushed away. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” He turned to Roman, regarding him. “You must be his boyfriend. Nice to meet you, Roman, I’ve heard so much about you.”

They shook hands. “All good things, I hope?” he asked, glancing back at Virgil.

“Well, all of my information is coming from Remy and Logan. It seems,” he snickered, glaring at Virgil playfully, “that _someone_ didn’t want me psychoanalysing his new boyfriend.”

The barista stared at his boyfriend incredulously. “You were serious about keeping me away from the 33?”

Remy cackled as Virgil blushed. “Oooooh, bitch. Looks like you’re in trouble, hot stuff. Whatcha gon’ do now?”

Roman smirked. “Yeah, hot stuff. What’re you gonna do?”

It was as if the god of confidence smiled upon him at that moment and decided _you need to do this._ Virgil stood up straight (or as straight as he could considering how flipping gay he was), screwed up all of his courage, and looped his arms around his tiny boyfriend’s waist. “This,” he whispered.

And he leaned down for a kiss.

Roman met him halfway, surging up to meet him, and it was everything Virgil had ever dreamed a kiss could be. There was a gentle passion behind Roman’s lips that beckoned him closer and yet still cautioned restraint. He tasted like chocolate and coffee, and Virgil couldn’t help but want more every second.

The emo was disappointed when Patton cleared his throat and Roman pulled away. Remy and Logan were staring at them with wide eyes, Emile was grinning euphorically, and Patton was chuckling like a father. “You’re cute, kiddos, but don’t you and Remy have a shop to run, Ro?”

The colour drained from both baristas’ faces. Remy cursed, and Roman checked his watch. “Bitch, we have 5 minutes til we open.”

The next few moments were complete and utter chaos, but nothing could break Virgil’s good mood. He was surrounded by the most amazing people he knew, and Roman had a plan to keep them safe, and he was happy, so, so happy. Nothing could ruin today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how's that for fluff, huh?  
> buckle up tho y'all know me by now  
> leave a comment and a kudo if you liked this and as always have an amazing day!


	10. Later that day, Roman’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Whatever this is:
> 
> The emo blushed. “God, I actually said that, didn’t I?”
> 
> “Yes. Yes you did. And I will lord it over you until the day I die.”
> 
> Virgil grimaced. “Let’s try and make sure that day isn’t tomorrow. Best I can figure, he’s only waiting so he can think of the most painful way to go about it. You can’t die, Ro. You can’t. I… I love you. I could never forgive myself if you-”
> 
> Roman hushed him. “Don’t worry; I think I have a plan. Believe me, I don’t want to leave you behind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time for some fun
> 
> tw: mentions of therapy  
> mentions of manipulation/blackmail  
> knives  
> the american justice system (just lawyers and courts)  
> passing out  
> implications of murder  
> mentions of homophobia

Roman did not have a plan. He didn’t have the slightest notion of what to do if a psychopath came in thirsty for his blood. It was all he could do to keep a smile on his face so as to not scare Virgil.

It didn’t help that there was a therapist 5 feet away from him at all times who he was sure could see right through his act.

Virgil filled them all in on the goings-on of the past 2 weeks. When he’d finished, Emile and Logan were simmering with rage, and Patton was hugging the emo tightly. Remy looked like he was trying to get drunk off coffee, which would’ve worried the other barista if he hadn’t seen his friend chug 40 oz of hot black coffee in 30 seconds before.

Emile was the first to speak. “I told you he was trouble. I warned you he was psychotic. Why didn’t you listen to me?”

“You know Ethan?” Roman asked.

“He was a patient of mine a while back, though I’m not sure patient is the right word. He-”

“Woah,” Virgil said. “Didn’t you take an oath? Patient confidentiality or whatever?”

“Doesn’t apply here. He’s planning to hurt others. Besides, most of it happened outside of sessions. His first day was concerning, and I gave him my phone number for emergencies. He was very…”

“Unstable?” Virgil supplied.

“Exactly. But he never stopped texting me; he wouldn’t leave me alone. Every session after that, all he did was flirt with me. When I finally snapped and rejected him, he threatened to ruin my whole career. I had to move to another town to get away from him. It’s not all bad, I guess. That’s how I met Virge. But seriously, he doesn’t play around. You’re sure you have a plan?”

Roman swallowed. “Absolutely.”

The next few hours were tense and uneventful. Well, for Roman. The other 5 seemed to be enjoying themselves perfectly. Emile never stopped shooting concerned glances at him, but no one else seemed to notice anything.

When the clock hit quarter to 12 and their shift was nearly through, Roman excused himself and rushed to the back. He didn’t want the others to see how much his hands were shaking.

By the time he got to the storage room, he could hardly breathe. How did he get into this mess? What was he going to do?

“What’s wrong, Roman?” a cool voice drawled. The barista spun around, taking in the leather jacket, the yellow converse, and finally the shiny purple blade in his gloved hand. “Are you afraid of the big, bad wolf?”

Roman took a shaky step back, colliding with the wall. “How did you get in here?”

“Oh, I have my ways,” he said, dangling a keychain in his face. “Just like you have yours.”

“Ethan,” the barista whispered, voice breaking. “Ethan, you don’t have to do this.”

“Oh, but I do. I have to protect Virgil. See, you might have brainwashed him into thinking I’m bad for him, but once you’re gone, he’ll be all mine again. You won’t win, Prince Charming, I assure you that.”

“You won’t get away with it. You- you’ll go to jail.”

The snake laughed. “Oh lord, I hadn’t thought of that.” Rolling his eyes, he displayed the handle of the knife like a beauty guru. The engraving was clear: _Virgil Ansia Knight_. “What do you think the jury would think of a knife belonging to the victim’s boyfriend with 2 sets of fingerprints: his and his best friend’s, both of whom were confirmed to be there at the time of death? They’re both in the restroom now; none of the rest of your little party will be able to testify. And with a southern jury, some of which will certainly be homophobic, our poor little Virgil doesn’t stand a chance.”

Roman’s breath caught. “You would frame the man you love?”

“Ah, you see, that’s the brilliance of it. You may not know this, dear Roman, but I’m one hell of a lawyer. With me on his side, Virgil will get off without even a reprimanding, and that little therapist freak friend of his will rot in jail for the rest of his life. When I save him from a lifelong sentence, he’ll have no choice but to love me. 3 birds with one stone, if you will.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because,” he said simply, grinning from ear to ear, “I need you to know that everything you’ve done, everything you’ve messed up these past weeks, none of it will amount to anything. I need you to die knowing that no one will be able to mourn you. This is no longer just about Virgil, Roman. This has gotten personal. And I have to know you went out in as much pain as possible.

“But first,” he hissed, reaching forward and covering his mouth with a cloth, “we can’t have anyone hearing you scream.”

Roman’s eyes widened, vision blurring, but before he could do much more than swallow, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have an amazing day!


	11. Literally like 5 minutes later, Roman’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi  
> um  
> don't kill me? I wouldn't blame you but please?
> 
> trigger warnings in the end notes because of possible spoilers but IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANY TYPE OF VIOLENCE AND/OR RESTRAINTS, PLEASE READ THEM. BE SAFE HONS
> 
> hope you have a wonderful day!

When Roman woke up, it was blindingly bright. He squinted, groaning. Everything hurt. Where was he?

A shadow fell over him, blocking the glaring light of the sun. “About time you woke up. It’s no fun if you sleep through it.”

Roman flinched at the voice. It was too loud, too bright, too much. He reached up to cover his ears but froze when his wrists hit cord. Squinting, he noticed a thick rope binding his arms to his side.

It all came back to him in an instant. Ethan. The plan. The overwhelming smell of chloroform. His confusion washed away, immediately replaced with sharp terror. He tried to scream, only to find his mouth stuffed with rough fabric.

“Now, where should we start?” Ethan asked with a smile. “You know, back in the old days, they trained elephants to crush every non vital organ in a victim’s body one by one before they crushed the brain. You’re lucky I’m merciful.”

Roman whimpered, but the sound was lost in the gag. The snake frowned sarcastically. “Let’s see, we wouldn’t want you running away, would we? And if this were truly a spontaneous attack, I’m sure any reasonable murderer would agree with me. You might feel a slight pinch.” And with that, he twirled his knife carelessly and plunged it into Roman’s right calf.

The barista convulged, screaming. Every thought left his mind. There was nothing but Roman and the white hot, searing, screeching of his leg. The world was swimming, sliding, slipping in and out of focus. All that remained clear was the manic smirk of his tormentor.

A memory snapped to the front of his mind. A promise. _It’s going to take more than a death threat to keep me away from you._

Virgil was waiting for him. Virgil was counting on him.

Ethan sighed as Roman, biting down hard on his gag to prevent a sob, started to push himself to his feet. “Jesus, _Ro_ , I thought you were at least smart enough not to fight back. Though I suppose, this will make it more believable. Really, I should be thanking you. You seem to always know what I need from you.” He snickers and jabs the blade again, this time in the crook of his left shoulder.

Roman fell to his knees, tears falling to the concrete. His stomach heaved. He could see the blood pooling beneath him now, a dark, shining puddle, and he could see his own reflection in all of its horror. He looked nothing of the romantic prince he pretended to be now.

But he had to get it back. He had to. Virgil was counting on him. Once again, he tried to pull himself up on his one good leg.

“Very good, Roman. Just like-”

There was a loud _crunch_ , and Ethan’s ramblings turned into a strangled cry.

“Get the fuck away from my best friend,” Remy snarled, clutching a bloody fist. Roman would have been relieved had it not been for the gag in his mouth and thus the consequential fact that he could not warn his friend against the knife coming straight for his side.

And then it wasn’t. And then Ethan was on the ground, hands first in Roman’s blood.

“Touch any one of us again, and you’ll find out just how much damage we can really do.”

Logan stood like a warrior, eyes cold and calculating. Roman had never once seen his ex this angry.

The snake chuckled, spitting streaks of red onto the hot concrete. “I was only going to kill our little prince here,” he huffed, “but since you two so kindly volunteered…”

None of them saw the second blade until it was buried firmly in Remy’s shoe. He screamed, more in rage than pain, and tossed away the knife, but Ethan had already gotten up. “Round 2!” he yelled.

Logan kicked out, wrapping his ankle around the crook of the snake’s knee and pulling. Ethan stumbled right into Remy, who swiftly kneed him straight in the crotch. He wheezed, stumbling back and practically providing a bullseye for Logan’s punch to the gut.

The back door of Beanie’s burst open, letting loose a panicked voice. “Rem? Logan?” Emile shrieked. Then, he saw them. His jaw slackened.

Ethan glanced toward him, moaning in relief. “Em, thank god. Can you tell these freaks to get the fuck off of me?”

Emile cleared his throat, emotionless. “I’m sorry, I think last time we saw each other, you wanted me to- hmm, how do I phrase this- get the fuck on you. My answer is still the same, I’m afraid. But do tell me, Mr. Mentiras;” he stepped closer, adjusting his glasses, “ _how does that make you feel_?”

Ethan snarled, rushing for the therapist, but before he could do anything a large cup of steaming coffee poured straight on his head.

“Oy, dickhead!” Remy shouted, clutching an empty cup. “My boyfriend is so far off limits right now. Don’t even fucking look at him!”

Roman giggled, half delirious, and a gasp echoed from behind. “Holy shit, Roman!”

A set of gentle, frantic arms danced around him indecisively, finally pulling the fabric out of his mouth. “Oh god, oh shit, okay.”

Distantly, the barista remembered he should be scared about something, but all that he could think was how much Virgil smelled like a fresh bouquet of flowers.

“Ok Roman, stay with me here, we’ll get you to Patton, just stay with me. Oh, oh god, that’s a lot of blood, Jesus.”

“Lilies,” Roman mumbled.

His boyfriend nodded, eyes wide with fear. “Yeah, Ro. I’ll get you all the lilies you want. Just don’t give up on me now.”

“Virge…” he said, suddenly dead serious. “Virgil, I need to tell you something.”

“Roman? What? What’s wrong?”

His head lolled to the side, vision fading. “Virge, you’re my hero.”

And then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *holds breath*
> 
> tw: chloroform  
> ropes, tied up  
> gags  
> mentions of limb crushing  
> stabbing/knives  
> crying  
> blood  
> so much blood  
> torture  
> hopeless fighting  
> punching  
> swearing  
> seriously how many times can I put blood on here  
> kicking and kneeing  
> referenced unwelcome sexual advances  
> hot drinks  
> really sad flower symbolism  
> passing out


	12. 10 Minutes Later, Virgil’s POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and here we are: the epic conclusion!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't too angsty don't worry
> 
> tw: swearing  
> blood mentions  
> pain?  
> zip-ties  
> manipulation attempt  
> the american justice system  
> well-fucking deserved calling out  
> mild violence but it's at the guy we don't like  
> badass emile picani
> 
> jesus I can't believe this is already over

Virgil was pacing the shop, nerves building. Patton said that everyone would be ok, that Roman was going to be fine, but it did nothing to calm him. His boyfriend still wasn’t awake. His boyfriend had lost a lot of blood.

Ethan had passed out shortly after the barista and was zip-tied to a table while they waited for the police to come. It seemed to be a busy day in the world of crime, and the cops had warned them it might be an hour before they could come arrest him. It had only been 3 minutes, and Virgil was already freaking out. What if Patton hadn’t bandaged him up right? What if Ethan knew how to get out of zip-ties? What if Roman never woke up?

A groan echoed through the cafe, and Virgil’s head whipped around to the barista’s unconscious, bloody body. But it wasn’t Roman.

“Let me go,” Ethan growled, sending shivers of rage down the emo’s spine.

“Like that’s gonna work,” Remy snorted. “Sorry, dickweed, but you have no fucking right to make demands here. Every single person in this room has incentive to murder you at this point. Do you _really_ want to test us, sweetheart?”

The snake rolled his eyes. “Really, Em?” he called, looking behind the barista. “ _This_ is what you settle for? You try to ghost _me_ , but this is fine?”

Emile was at his boyfriend’s side in an instant. “For your information, Mr. Mentiras,” he snapped, “ _this_ is the kindest, hottest, most loving person that I have ever had the amazing pleasure of knowing, and you can’t hold a fucking candle to him. Hell, you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. _This_ is also someone who can and has kicked your ass, and he will again if you make a single fucking move. So if you have a problem, I’d prescribe a big fucking bottle of Keep it to Yourself. Mkay?”

Ethan scoffed. “You make me sick.”

Remy stood to knock the snake senseless, but his boyfriend stepped in front of him, blocking his way. He pulled the barista into a long kiss, and the therapist’s foot kicked up to hit Ethan smack in the face. He let out a cry of pain, but the couple didn’t notice.

When they broke away, Emile turned back to the psychopath with mock concern. “Oh, I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

Remy sighed. “God, you have never been hotter.”

Emile blushed. “Just keep swimming, I guess.”

Ethan turned away in disgust, training his eyes on Virgil instead. His gaze turned pleading. “Come on, Virgil,” he prompted. “I’m your friend; let me go.”

Virgil hissed, incredulous. “You fucking stabbed me! You tried to kill my boyfriend! Even without that, you’ve harassed me and my friend for years, and you’ve been an all around shitty friend. You honestly think I’m just gonna cut you loose so you can go back to trying to kill my friends again?”

The snake closed his eyes. “Please don’t tell me that dick has you so far up his ass that you actually think you love him. Jesus, he turns you against me and still has the gall to mess with your feelings? How pathetic.”

He couldn’t take it anymore. Without a moment’s hesitation, he was halfway across the room, grabbing his former friend by the collar of his jacket.

“Listen to me, you little piece of shit, and listen carefully. Ever since we’ve been friends, I have been there for you whenever you needed it. Even when I felt like shit, when I was actually having fun, when I was in the middle of something, I still let you drag me into your problems. I’ve twisted and turned and dodged and ducked so that you’ll be happy ever since the day we met. I know everything there is to know about you. Now seriously, look at me. Can you name a single thing about me past basic tinder profile information?”

When Ethan didn’t respond, Virgil clicked his tongue. “That’s what I thought. You know, I don’t think I can name a single thing you’ve ever done for me. This relationship has been one sided since day one, and we both know it.

“Now, I’ve known Roman Prince for a little over 2 weeks now. In that time, he’s made me laugh more than I ever have with you, he’s talked me through a panic attack, he’s accepted me, patched me up, taken 2 stab wounds for me. He probably knows me better than anyone else in the world by now.

“I don’t expect you to understand the emotion and love in our relationship; god knows you’ve proved by now you’re incapable of empathy. But you can understand facts at the very least. And the facts are that Roman makes me happy, and the only thing that could make me happier than being with him is knowing that you’re rotting in jail for the rest of your inconsequential little life.”

The snake almost looked remorseful for a moment before his expression morphed into a glare. “You can’t put me behind bars. You have practically no evidence, and I’m well known in the courts. You’ve got no case.”

A familiar chuckle sent Virgil’s heart leaping. He turned to see his boyfriend sitting up on the table, laughing. “You know,” Roman said, “for an evil genius, you can be such an idiot sometimes.”

The rush of relief the emo felt in that moment was indescribable in that it was so much stronger than anything he’d ever felt before.

Ethan was not amused. “Ugh, you mangy mutt. You keep crawling back, don’t you? Why don’t you be a good bitch and just die already?”

Virgil’s blood boiled. His hand curled into a fist. Before he even knew what was happening, his hand had connected right with the snake’s jaw. “You talk too much. Babe, you were saying?”

The barista shook off his shock, blushing a bit. “I just wanted to thank you for the villain monologue, Ethan. Or were you not aware that they have security cameras in the back room? I think that’s a pretty solid confession, don’t you?”

Patton piped up. “And you’re not the only one with court ties. Logan happens to be an amazing lawyer himself. Don’t think any of this will be easy.”

Logan’s face flushed. “Uh, yes. Yes, and there’s more than enough evidence to convict you for attempted murder. You most definitely will not, as they say, ‘get away with this.’”

Ethan sighed. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean that this is the end. You’ve won the battle, Roman, but the war is far from over. Mark my words, I will get what I want eventually, and when I do, everything you love will be gone. You’ve chosen the wrong person to make an enemy of.”

The barista clicked his tongue. “Funny, I’m pretty sure you were the one who stabbed me. Seriously, why are you so hell-bent on destroying my life?”

He sneered. “You ruined mine. Pay it forward.”

Virgil glared at the pathetic excuse for a man. “You’re crazy. Why do you want me so much? You don’t even know me.”

“Oh, but I do. I don’t know your favourite colour or your grandma’s name or any of that shit, sure. But I know just where your cracks are. I know how you tick, how to make you cry, how to know when you’re lying. I know how to make you come and how to keep you there. I know what makes you sad, what makes you angry, what makes you quiet. Preach all you want about love and knowledge, but you know how well I know you, Virge.”

“Never call me that again,” the emo spat. “That’s not knowing me. You used to know how to control me. Not anymore. You can’t just shed a few tears and expect me to come running. You’re not in control anymore, Ethan, and you won’t be ever again. Anyone got a gag? I’m sick of hearing his voice.”

Behind him, Roman shuddered. Virgil’s heart dropped as he realised why.

Logan stood. “Come to think of it, I always keep some duct tape in the car. I’ll go retrieve it.” He rushed out of the door, Patton following with a worried expression.

“Virgil?” Roman asked softly. “Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?”

Ethan grunted. “How romantic. Or should I say pathetic? Pretty words can only get you so far, dogface.”

“Logan better get back here fast,” Remy grumbled. “If someone doesn’t shut him up quick, Roman’s won’t be the only attempted murder.”

The other barista rolled his eyes and stretched out his hand, beckoning his boyfriend to the corner of the cafe.

“God, Virgil, I’m so sorry,” he said. The emo startled. “None of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for me.”

Virgil blinked. “Are you seriously trying to blame yourself for that bitch almost killing you? I knew you were crazy, Princey, but-”

“No, I’m not. I’m not saying that creep had any right. But I should have told you. I should have told someone. I told you I had a plan, I promised you I’d be fine. But I didn’t, and I’m not, and I’m such an idiot, and you deserve so much better.”

“Babe, you’re not making sense. Those things don’t connect.”

“Yes,” Roman murmured. “Yes, they do. I wasn’t strong enough. I thought I could be the hero, but I just made everything worse. If it weren’t for Logan and Remy- it was them, right? My brain wasn’t exactly working right at the time.” The emo nodded, and he continued. “If not for them, you’d be fucked. I couldn’t do anything-”

“Woah, wait,” Virgil interrupted. “What? I’m not the one who was bleeding out in the back alley of a cafe, Ro. What do you mean _I_ would be fucked?”

The barista gulped. “Before he dragged me outside, he told me his plan. All of it. He was planning on framing you and Emile, Virge, and blackmailing you into going with him. I couldn’t even try to stop him. And plus, I know what it feels like to watch someone you love die. I can’t believe I nearly put you through that.”

“Roman, honey, first of all, you can’t blame yourself for not being ready. Ethan is literally a psycho who has dedicated a lot of time to making other people miserable. I don’t think anyone could have gotten out of that situation. But Remy told me you were fighting the entire time before he came. Do you realize how fucking brave that is? You are absolutely insane if you think you’re not a hero. You don’t always have to be the strongest to be brave, Ro. Letting people help you is bravery, and never giving up is bravery. Just let us help you sometimes, please. You’re amazing, but you’re not invincible. All of us are on your side, you know. We’re always here to help.” He stepped closer. “ _I’m_ always here to help.”

Roman’s face softened. His eyes asked a question, a request, to which Virgil responded by opening his arms. The barista melted, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. They both winced having forgotten about Virgil’s side and Roman’s shoulder, but it hardly mattered. _This is it_ , the emo thought. _This is what love is._

Roman’s face nestled into the crook of Virgil’s elbow, and it was all he could do to pray that the love of his life couldn’t hear how fast his heart was pounding.

“Secondly?” the prince muttered, almost in a daze.

“Secondly,” Virgil replied softly, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Roman broke away, confused. “Who did I lose?”

“You… you said you saw someone you love die, didn’t you?”

Realisation dawned on the barista’s face, and he snorted. “Oh, yeah. My brother, he thought it would be funny to pretend to be bleeding out on the floor for an April Fool’s prank. Way too realistic. We were planning the funeral before he finally gave it up.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. “The… fuck?”

“Yeah, Remus has a messed up sense of humour.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet him. Sounds like a really interesting guy.”

Roman’s eyes widened, and a blush formed on his cheeks. “Ye-yeah, he’s a real… a real character, yeah. Um, so you really want to meet him?”

“Well, as long as he doesn’t have the homophobia complex. You said he supported you with Logan, didn’t he?”

“Oh yeah, he’s probably gayer than me, to be honest.”

Feigning a gasp, Virgil clutched his chest dramatically. “Oh, but sir, I thought you were the gayest man alive! Hath I been deceived?”

His boyfriend laughed. “Worry not, my Knight in Shining Armour. I’m still gay enough to love you.”

The emo’s heart leaped. He was going to have to get used to this if he had any plans of breathing any time soon. “I hope so, Princey. I have a lot of love to give.”

“Oh? Where’s your boyfriend?”

Virgil smiled. “Indisposed. Just me today, sorry.”

Roman simpered. “No, no. Don’t apologise. That’s… perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch out paul, he might KiCk YoUr HeAd  
> wow that was the end  
> hope you guys had fun I really did thank you so much for reading I love each and every one of you
> 
> sidenote should I do a logicality story for this au? like patton and logan meeting in the library and some shenanigans that are probably a lot less angsty than this? Idk tell me in the comments if you would read that :)
> 
> have an amazing day you guys :)
> 
> (also the ending of this is so corny I apologise)

**Author's Note:**

> This work will update every other day starting Wednesday at 6 (so at Six PM every Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday), so keep an eye out if you're interested! As always, enjoy, comment, and take care of yourself. You are valid, loved, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
> 
> Extra note: sorry for the ugly formatting, for some reason Ao3 didn't want to cooperate today. I'll see what I can do to fix it! <3


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